This week’s been kind of hard. B came home from out of town duty on Monday. So I (being the obsessive compulsive wife) cleaned like a mad woman. So that way when he came home he didn't have to worry about anything. The only thing I didn't get to was vacuuming. All the laundry was done, folded and put away (yep, even his). All the dishes were done (I loathe dishes). Dinner was in the fridge and waiting to be cooked. The sheets were washed and dried and put back on the bed (I love the smell of fresh out of the dryer linens). Do you think I got 1 tiny thank you...? NOPE!! Not even a 'looks good Hun' that he says in passing.

But anywhozer.

Back to me. Time out Thursday is for me. I spent my Time out this week in the Gym on Tuesday. I love the gym. I wish I could get their more often. I did a fantastic cardio work out then went down and killed myself with a great abs workout. I wanted so badly to get there yesterday and take my boot camp class that I miss so much... but work held me over and I missed it. AGAIN.

I really need to find a better work/home balance. Because at the moment work is taking up FAR too much of my time.

I mentioned a while back that i bought a planner/journal to track my thoughts for my blog. I thought i'd show you...

It started like this: Just a list, short ideas of what i had done or thought about during the day.
It slowly has evolved into this:
I've always been a huge 'doodler'. I've always been the kid with designs on the sides of the paperwork.


I kind of love it!!!

And...here we go!

1. It was a dark and stormy night, so I watched from inside in awe of the glorious works of god.

2. She was having trouble, so I offered to take the books myself.

3. Rushing out, to the car.

4.I stop because...I think I heard a howl!

5. Shhhh... I hear something.

6.Trick Or Treat give me something good to eat If you don't i don't care, i'll pull down my underware. !

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to cleaning the apartment tomorrow my plans include taking Dom Trick or Treating with my BFF A and Sunday, I want to Finish cleaning and spend time with my mom!!

Please disregard if you are not interested in hearing the drunken ramblings of a sexually deprived semi-newlywed.

This is the longest time I’ve been home and B has been away. I'm normally the one who leaves. I'm the one who deploys. I'm the one who goes away.

This... This whole him going away thing is new to me.

Don't get me wrong. I've dated my fair share of military men. I've dated a navy boy, an Army boy, and a couple Air force guys.... but this time is different.

This time it’s my husband. This time it’s my heart... my love. My counterpart. It’s a little weird.

When I’m away I can distract myself with this or that... I’m not home with laundry and dishes, and taking the dog out, and work, and life stresses. I can do it. I've done it before. But it’s so much different. Lol....

He comes home tomorrow....
T-minus les than 24 hours.


I miss him.
I miss my other half.
I miss my counterpart.
I miss my partner.
I miss my husband.

So I've been battling some serious writers block for some time. I'm trying to gather my thoughts and come up with something to write about that's worth reading. Do I do this blog to be read, no. But I decided to do this blog in order to organize my thoughts to be able to control my anxiety issues.

So I thought I'd make this blog entry about the strongest girls I know. My girls on BOTB. A lot of people don't understand the whole message board phenomenon. But if you haven't tried it, you won't understand. And there are a bunch of people who don't ... mesh well with others, even online.

BOTB is its own world, its own community, its own support system, and its own family. These girls are great if I had to narrow them down to 2 words those words would be Amazing Strength.
Both words can be used together or separately.
I'm not going to link anyone. If you understand, than great. If not, I at least hope you understand where this post is coming from.

TW - If you know who this is, than great. It you don't than just you will. TW is someone I've have known and grown to love. Yet never met.
::side bar:: I'm totally a bawling mess right now!
When she announced she was pregnant, I was probably more excited for her than if I found out my SIL (I don't have a sister) was pregnant. I was so so happy for her. When I found out she had lost her precious baby girl, I was devastated. Not for me. But for her. For the loss of what could be. She is the most wonderful woman and I know she'd be/she'll be an amazing mother. The strength that she has found inside herself has awed me. If she can go through what she's been through and still take each day as it comes... I can do anything. Her strength gives me the strength to overcome my anxieties of trying to become a mom, and make that goal achievable.

TW I hope you know how much you give me strength.

Mrs.M and her 4 sweet angel babies. Most recently Mary Reyna. I'm not linked through your blog right now. But I’m not going to link you either. But you my dear are amazing. You have showed me that there's nothing that you can't overcome. Your loss was so profound that no matter of distance can change who feels it. I ♥ you my dear.

Nerdy & Bada - you girls have known loss more than anyone should, and yet you 2 are shining examples that it is possible. I hold you both so dear to my heart that I may be running out of room. You both will forever hold a soft squishy spot in my soul.

Bancbev - You lost someone so close to you. God, I don't know what I will do when I have to go through that. But here you are moving on moving up and doing what you have to. You girl are strength.

And M. My Love. You shall remain nameless other than M. If you ever read this, I hope you know I’m talking about you! You my dear are love. Pure Love!

God... breathe... breathe...

M, everyday you struggle. And yet you move on. You have the most beautiful spawn but you are going through, living with and surviving my 2nd biggest fear... PPD. I hope that when I am lucky enough to become a mother, and I am tested to have PPD. I hope I can deal with it with half the class and perseverance that you have. You my dear are all heart. ALL HEART. I hope to be half the woman you are when I grow up. You’re amazing.

There are so many other AMAZING AMAZING Women I interact with on a day to day basis. Knowing you all has made me a better person. I thank god every day for allowing me to know each and every one of you. I love you all. I could name you all by name but it would take forever and a day. Please know you all hold a place in my heart.

Thank you for allowing me to be a small part of your life because you have affected mine so drastically for the better.

For all of you. This is for you!!!

I've been wanting one of these for a very long time, i hope it fits!



This feels very fitting and appropriate!
Love you all ♥

So i recenlty discovered Friday Fill ins, I think they're kind of awesometatic. So here we go. feel free to add it to you're blog. They're pretty fun!!

1. The crickets sing, I remember camping.

2. I would do what ever it takes to be, wherever you are.

3. I want to get far away from the sound of the haters and the people who disagree.

4. I woke up this morning telling my self over and over again that ; this was a dream.

5. But as for me I realized i still have a lot of growing to do.

6. A long and twisted windy road of mental and physical growth is where, I come from.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to calmness, tomorrow my plans include Coaching and Sunday, I want to clean and do nothing special!