Sometimes & Always

Doctors who never agree.

2012-01-16T22:02:00.000-08:00

Its kind of insane when you think about how Doctor A will see you on monday, and diagnose you with XYZ. You see Doctor B on Friday, and he cancels out what Doctor A said and changes your meds as well.

After seeing about a dozen different doctors over the last year. You can imagine how many different medications I have been on.

It wasn't until late may when I was finally able to see the 'assigned' primary care physician that I was assigned. Dr. S was so amazing. He was the first person who ever seemed genuinely interested in what was the cause of the problem and wanted to get to the bottom of my issue.

He was the one that requested the MRI & the sleep study.

He had his nurse call me every couple weeks to keep tabs on how I was feeling, how the medication was working, etc. It was nice to have someone 'on my side'.

The down side to being seen by a military doctor is they get deployed. so because of this I have had to see another round of new doctors.

I feel like I have got back to ground zero with the doctors now. In December I felt that my headache frequency were increasing rapidly and I was really afraid to go back to how bad it was in the beginning of the year.

I called and made an appointment with a new doctor. I went in and the guy was a terrible doctor. He was the type who doesn't listen to what you have to say. He gave me yet another 'neurological' test, and told me to continue taking my meds. It was seriously a waste of time.

So now here we are. 1 year since the start of my migraines, taking medication like its going out of style, and waiting for my doctor to get back from deployment so I can actually see someone who cares.

2011 The Year Of The ER Visit

2012-01-15T23:57:00.001-08:00

I was talking today on Facebook to my friend. He asked what I was doing. To which i replied, "blogging. sort of". Of course this prompted the response: "sort of?". So I explained, when I say I'm going to blog it takes, 30 minutes to actually type out what I want to say, and 2-3 hours of doing everything but blogging to build up the courage to actually blog.

So, here I am, laying in bed with approximately an hour left on my laptop battery, still at a loss on how to start this blog post. Yet, it seems by not 'starting' I have already gotten it started. talk about a mind fuck. haha

I titled this blog post "2011 The Year Of The ER Visit", because that's really how I feel about the year.

January - May are a blur. Its hard for me to put into words exactly how hard these 5 months were for me.

My headaches/migraine journey started in January 2011. I've always had headaches. My mother and grandma get them, so I always thought of them as hereditary. When I got them before I could take a couple Excedrin, take a nap, and I would be good to go. These new headaches were so different. This was a new pain I had never felt before. This pain was all encompassing. It takes over your body like a climbing vine takes over a brick wall.

I can remember in early Jan during one of my first battles with the pain, I was sitting on the floor of my husbands office. I can't tell you why I was in the room, just that I wanted to be near him. I was sitting on the floor, with my back against the wall, with my head on my knees, I was in so much pain. I couldn't eat, because chewing was to painful. I couldn't drink because the sound of swallowing was to much. Not to mention the constant nausea that was created by the pain.

It was very weird when they first started. Because I didn't know (and still don't know) what causes them. Sometimes the migraines didn't follow the same 'path' per-say. When the first started I felt so useless. I didn't have the medication to stop them, I couldn't function with them, and I felt like no one understood just how bad they really were. I felt like no one would take me seriously and understand just how badly I hurt.

The pain was different. Most of the time the pain starts at my right temple and spreads from there. Its like a forest fire, it just spreads until it has consumed everything in its path. It spreads across the top of my head, down behind my eyes, across my jaw and down my body. Other times it starts behind my eye balls and feels like someone is constantly pushing on the back of my eye ball, and the pain spreads from there. Sometimes I can feel the pain creeping, or feel it sort of starting, and then I can catch it with a pill and stop it before it even starts.

Other times, i'm not so lucky. These are the worst. The 'other' is when it feels like someone took a 2x4 to the side of my head and the migraine hits me out of no where. Its like some set weights on both shoulders and on the top of my head. The constant pressure and pain takes the wind right out of your sails. These are the worst of the worst.

Between January - May, I was in the ER 5 times. I was in the ER 2times in Jan and 1 time in Feb, Mar, and May. These months were such a blur of pain, needles, pills, doctors, ER visits, ice packs, and more pain. I had my blood drawn every 6 weeks, (and still do) because they found my thyroid was "significantly under active". I was bounced from doctor to doctor. Every time I called to make an appointment, I was assigned to a new doctor. I lost track of how many doctors I have seen after the 12th new face.

This is me during the sleep study

I finally got to see the doctor who was my "assigned" primary care physician. He prescribed several medications and several tests.

I went in and had a sleep study conducted. They found I had a slight snore, but that was it. No sleep apnea, no weird findings.

I had an MRI done. Again no findings nothing wrong.

I completed food journal after food journal after food journal. Its to the point now that I just write down everything I ate, did, didn't do, took, drank, etc in a journal before I go to bed. Because I know its just a matter of time before I get assigned another doctor and they make me start all over again.

During this constant battle with the pain and trying to keep that under control, I was also back in school. So September I moved 600 miles away from my family, was re-united with my husband, had to find a place to live, started school again, and was fighting a constant battle with my head. To say I was stressed was an understatement. I thank god for the classes I had during this battle. I broke down on my last day of my Materials & Techniques class. I told them that if it wasn't for them and their unquestioning support during this hard time, I wouldn't have passed. And it was so true. I struggled so hard to stay afloat during that term.

During spring term '11 I was either in debilitating pain, or fairly drugged up and between those 2 options it made school work/going to school a lot harder for me. I was seeing so many doctors and having my medication tweaked each time. I now take more pills than my 87 year old grandmother. Its slightly insane the amount of medication I take.

These are the medications that I take. I'm currently trying to get off of some of them. But at this point I need all of them.

I take:

Maxalt ( or 'before' I get a headache)

Ultram (for 'after' the headache starts)

Synthroid (for my thyroid)

Percocets (for when the ultram doesn't work)

Phenogren (anti-nausea pill)

Periactin (at night its half for allergies and half for migraines)

Nasonex (nose spray for allergies)

and of course my birth control.

So in 1 day I can take up to 7 different pills. This is more than slightly insane.

So now you know most of the back story about my migraine battle. I'll try and go into more depth about what the doctors have said, what I am doing, and what I have tried.

It has been a long year. Its hard to talk about all the details of the year because the details are so blurry. The dates and times are all blurred in a drugged up pain ridden mess in my head.

Its amazing how many people have reached out to me through out this last year to me. I want to reach out to anyone else who had had headaches, migraines, tension headaches, sinus headaches, etc. I want you all to know, I know how it feels and I am here for you.

My Journey with Migraine Headaches

2012-01-12T23:25:00.000-08:00

As you guys know I've been battling a fairly complex battle with migraines. The battle has been going on for over a year now and I have been swaying back and forth on what to write, how to go about documenting my battles, and so on. I've talked to people about it, I've tweeted about it (@IamMrsRotty), I've been over and over it in my head. The best advice I got was from my friend Miranda. She said "If it's part of you, it's worth blogging about."

I have to remember that this is my blog and it is for me. I shouldn't worry if I come across as whiny, or poor me. I feel like I need to get this battle down and documented. I want to be able to remember years from now what happened and how if felt, what I went through, and that I was able to make it though.

I feel like I need to start this with a little preface. Part of my issue with my headaches is how all encompassing the pain is. The details get a bit fuzzy and a little hard to remember. I'm going to be pulling from my tumblr account, prior blog posts, and memories to try and make the dates as accurate as possible.

In the small amount of research I've done, I've learned quite a bit. I know I need to do more research and investigate other methods, treatments, triggers, etc. I need to be my own advocate, but sometimes that is easier said then done.

I have learned that 25% of women and 8% of men get migraines sometime in theirlifetime. The majority of migraine sufferers are between the ages of 25-50. While this seems like a large window, this is actually kind of a key detail for me, because my first migraine started just short of 6 months after my 25th birthday.

I think that I'm going to break this story/journey into pieces. I know that long blog posts are hard to read and while i am writing this for me mostly, i still want to make it 'readable' .

I'm still building up the courage to open up completely about the pain, the doctors, the being ignored, the medication, the struggles with school work and military work, the struggles to get back to a normal schedule, etc. There is so much that I have gone through in the last year that has stemmed from these migraines.

So please bear with me as I try to open up and wade through my journey with migraines.

That is me in the midst of one of my many battles.

Lost in though

2012-01-05T22:17:00.000-08:00

I have had quite a bit on my mind lately. I feel like when I don't blog for a prolonged period of time it takes a while to get back.

I struggle to find the words to be able to put everything I am feeling down onto one blog. I feel lost in my own thoughts. I focus on one task at a time. I find solace in organizing paperwork and cleaning to a new extreme. I distract.

I'm currently in my bed with a laptop and a remote. The pup is passed out on the husbands side of the bed. The husband is at work.

I know none of this makes sense but i just don't know what else to write. Its coming out in stages and in broken thoughts and in garbled ideas.

I have a lot of ideas for blogs and for where i want to take this blog.

I want to blog about my anxiety and my struggles to overcome it
I want to blog about my battle with migraines.
I want to blog about my clumsiness so you all can laugh along with me.
I want to blog about my new found love for the Big Bang Theory
I want to blog about my Christmas projects (a little late, i know)
I want to blog about my struggles with my weight and how I'm taking control.
I want to blog about how I just bawled over an episode of Grey's Anatomy
I want to blog about how my best friend in the planet who I love more than anything and is the mother of the amazing godson of mine is in a desperate cycle of mental and verbal abuse from a sleezy guy with a 15 letter 2 vowel first name who should thank his lucky stars i'm 600 miles away.
I want to blog about the ups and downs of being a military wife
I want to blog about school.
I want to tell you guys that I just got my first 4.0 ever. (I called my mommy and cried happy tears).
I want to blog about my troops and how happy and frustrated they make me on a daily basis
I want to blog about the serious spins I get when I take my meds (currently the room is spinning around me)

There is so much. I know I need to take it one step at a time, one blog at a time, one topic at a time. but there it is.

Also, I love my blog layout but i feel its a bit busy for me right now. So i will be on the hunt for a new lay out.

Any suggestions?
Any thoughts?

30 Days of Thankful in November

2011-11-16T09:01:00.000-08:00

Day 13: today i'm thankful for my bff. I have found such a friend 'soul mate' in her. we grew up so close together, and graduated together, but it took 6 years for us to reconnect and really realize how much we had in common. Today is her birthday and I want her to know she's amazing! I ♥ you Jac (in a platonic non lesbian bff kind of way) HAHAHAH!!

Day 14: Today i am thankful for Pain pills

Day 15: today I am thankful for a group of great women who make my monotonous Tuesday class enjoyable and full of fits of giggles. They make the hour and a half of driving worth it.

Newest Book Series Obsession

2011-11-12T12:34:00.001-08:00

The Night Huntress series by Jeaniene Frost

I just finished This Side of the Grave last night. It wasn't my favorite, but it was still really good.

It is a story about Cat & Bones. I want to go into so much detail about how much i love these books, but I can't.... I don't want to ruin it. but please read these. but we'll just go with Cat is an illusive half breed, half vampire/half human who has set out to kill vampires. Then she runs into Bones who is a vampire unlike any she has come across before. There is a fine line between hate and love. they walk this line very carfully.

I wasn't so sure about it at first. My twin (aka freaky similar good friend) had the first books when I went to see her for our birthdays. We were standing in line at Disneyland reading (lol) and I got totally sucked into it.

I had to wait to buy the last two books (This Side of the Grave & One Grave at a Time)! Like I said, I finished This side of the Grave late last night. It was a little slow and hard to get through, but it was worth it. I've started One Grave at a Time and am super excited. The ending of the last book and the beginning of this book has had an interesting twist, I can't wait to see where its going.

Highly recommended.

30 Days of Thankful In November

2011-11-12T10:48:00.001-08:00

I did this last year, and I really wanted to do it again this year, but i haven't had a chance to post much lately. So, Now i'm going to post all 12 days at once.

Day 1: I'm thankful for my amazing husband. Thing's aren't always disney perfect, but if love is there we'll always be our kind of perfect

Day 2: I'm thankful for the opportunity to go to school and follow my dream

Day 3: I'm thankful for Sammy, who knows when i'm sick and instantly becomes mama's cuddle buddy.

Day 4: I'm thankful for my family. I can't wait for my dad and brother to come down for thanksgiving. I'm going to miss my mommy though.

Day 5: I'm thankful for being in the military. People thank me, but I really don't know where or what i would be if it wasn't in the military.

Day 6: I'm thankful for the people in my unit. It was such an amazing drill weekend. This unit is full of such giving and generous people. I'm so thankful to be in this unit. This is the right place for me at this point in my life. I can feel it.

Day 7: I'm thankful for my Personal Trainer. She's helped me so much in the last 6 months. Not just physically but mentally as well. I think she's just plain amazing.

Day 8: I'm thankful for On Demand TV. Its nice to have all my favorite shows available when I have a chance to sit down and watch them.

Day 9: I'm thankful for this house. It may not be the best, but its so much better than the tiny apartment we were in last year.

Day 10: I'm thankful for my teachers this year. After a really rough week, they were so understanding and willing to work with me. I really feel this term all my hard work really is paying off.

Day 11: I'm thankful for all the veterans out there. Its so easy to overlook all the things we military members sacrifice. This year over half our unit is deployed and away from their families. I'm so proud of them.

Day 12: Today I'm thankful for the new monitor B just bought. i'm thankful for this random nugget for 2 reasons. 1) I don't have to hear about how much he wants a new monitor any more and 2) I get his old monitor. My monitor is nice, but its HUGE! so it will be nice to get a thin screen that doesn't take up half my desk. lol

Back....

2011-09-30T12:29:00.001-07:00

This term has been a long one, but i finally feel like I'm back in the grove of things.

I feel back to my old self. Its a pretty nice feeling.

What an interesting night

2011-09-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

Normally when i start a conversation, post, or blog with a title like that it involves loads of liquor and drunken events of stupidity.

But not this time.

So lets preface this story with the back ground of the day.
B worked until 645/700 pm (score for being back on days), i had put dinner in the crock pot and left for class around 415. So by the time i got home from school he was already in bed because he had to work again today. He left the house at 545 this morning (ew).
So i stayed up for about an hour just watching TV, decompressing, had a small dinner, and a beer, then went to bed about 10ish.

I layed down and snuggled in with my corner of the blanket. B had bogarted the rest of the KING size blanket. I know he doesn't sleep in 1 position so i waited up until i knew that he shifted and stole enough blanket back to just about cover me and settled in to go to sleep.

WRONG!

The noises started around 1100pm, but didn't really intensify till 1150.
It sounded in my mind like a loud female. i couldn't tell if she was screaming or what. but it was loud enough that i could hear it through the walls with no windows open. but it didn't sound loud enough for it to be right next door. it sounded a house away or on the back side of the block.

It settled down for a bit and I just about drifted off to sleep when BAM B wakes straight the fuck up. he goes out into the living rooms to 'investigate' and i hear the sound again. This is roughly 12:25am.

It woke me up again at 1:15, 2:45, and then i was finally able to get to sleep. that is until B left for work at 5:45.

It was just strange.

I had convinced my self that it was someone being murdered. so i made sure to pay attention to the times. but then i also realized that i sounded batshitcrazy to anyone normal so i did NOT call the cops.

But again it sounded seriously female and seriously crazed.

First Day of School

2011-08-22T23:22:00.001-07:00

So today was the first day of fall term. I'm not gonna lie, I was nervous for silly reasons. But, still...

It nevef fails, I parked in thd wrong parking lot and got lost. I think of it as my first day ritual.

Anyways, todays class was Interior Design Business Practices. The teacher seamed nice enough, we met for a grand total of 45min. Which is nice, but I have to drive 45min to get there, so it almost isnt worth the hassel. The class is slated to go from 6-9:05. But she stated we wouldn't have a break, that, way we could get out around 8ish. Which i'm totally okay with.

So this class should be interesting. There is 28 people and out of that only 3 are men. Now, im not bad mouthing the ladies, but they normally dont get my sense of humor. Normally I position myself kind of in the middle of class. And scope out those who look like I would get along with.

.....that backfired today....

There is one kid in class I had in my math class this summer... Who I cannot stand. Guess who is in my class?? Guess who sat right next to me?? I may need one of you to be my alliby here soon. The dude shook his leg the whooooollllleeeee fucking class. Our class is in a mobile building. His G.D. leg shook the whole fucking floor...the whole fucking class. Ugh.

Pray for me.

I'm a living example...

2011-08-16T20:13:00.000-07:00

Of why is it important to get sleep, eat right, and keep your body in balance.

I have possibly the worst cold i’ve had in a long long time.

Last week I worked long hours (ave. 16hr days), ate like crap (eat what you can when you can), and didn’t get the sleep I needed.

When I got released around noon on Friday I went home, and my oh my did my body just shut down.

It is now Tuesday and I am back to work (0540-1500). and I’m still freaking sick. I am trying my best to eat right. but I haven’t been able to get to the gym. I had to cancel my appointment with my Personal Trainer today because of how sick I am. Its hard to work out when you can’t breathe, get dizzy standing up to fast, and cough up all sorts of fun gunk.

I get up around 4, work till 3ish. Come home & make dinner. Wait till my husband leaves for work. Finish watching what I was in the living room, then I move to the bedroom. Its currently 8pm and I have NyQuil in my belly, my laptop on my lap, and i’m laying in bed waiting for said NyQuil to kick in.

I just want to be healthy. Is that to much to ask?

It started off as a head cold. All stuffy, sneezy, coughy... etc. but now its move to a full body cold. As of this exact moment, as I'm typing, I'm having a serious dizzy spell and I feel like you do when you're a kid when you spin in circles really fast and then you stop spinning but the world still seems to spin around you. Yeah, That is happening to this 25 year old right now. WEIRDEST FEELING YET!

Weirdest Dream/Scary Dream

2011-07-31T10:22:00.000-07:00

So the following events happened in my twisted sleeping brain:

B & I are hiking in the Oregon woods. All of a sudden we see a much of people carrying doors up the trail heading in the opposite direction of us. Then as soon as we saw them leave, they're back rushing back in the direction they just came to retrieve more doors.

We saw a girl carrying doors the opposite direction, she was struggling to get down part of the rocky trail, so B & I helped her. I asked her a couple questions in broken spanish, but enough to communicate as to why her arm was all torn up. She told me it was nothing. She said that she had fallen carrying the doors. Who was I not to believe her.

She then speed up and disappeared amongst the trees.

We kept walking and seeing the amazing sights of Oregon forest.

Soon we came into a clearing and there was this house. Of course we had to go explore the house. Turns out that the house is a historical house with things on display. We go inside and start looking around at all the things on display. Soon an older man and a middle aged man come into the room. They start talking to us about the items on display and what they mean.

As we are going through the displays and we come across a ukulele. The older man tells B that he can play the ukulele if he wanted to. So my husband being who he was, he picked it up. Little did I know that he could play the ukulele. He busted it out and played like he was a pro.

The middle aged man is standing over by me as i'm in shock and in awe of my husband rocking that little instrument. The older man is circling in and out of the displays watching us.

I'm standing by this display of little cards, and little packets with names on them. I start to look a bit closer at the packets and I realize that the names are human names.

I turn to look at the middle aged man and he is smiling, but the smile is no longer a smile of happy amusement. It has turned into this dark sinister. When I turn to look at B he is magically transformed into a dandelion. In my shock, I can barely hear the sound of the other men in the room laughingly taunting me. I hear them through my fog saying I had better make sure I get all the pieces of my husband other wise I won't be able to put him back together. I scramble and grab an envelope and stuff the dandelion that is my husband in it as quickly as possible. I realize that the men are circling me like a couple vulchers.

I bolt out of the room as fast as I possibly can. I'm running in the opposite direction of the path for fear of the door carriers would stop me. I find another house that is on a cliff. Part of the house was on the cliff. So i busted into the house and found my way down to the basement so that I could get off the cliff. I am searching and searching for a way out of the house. I finally find a door that opens to the out side. I poke my head out of the door to check to see if anyone was coming and I see that the door carriers coming towards the door.

I look at my hand, see the packet that is my husband and I start to cry.

Then my husband came in the door of the bedroom and woke me up.

This seriously was the most insane dream i've had in a long time. whoa.

Holy weird dreams

2011-06-08T22:48:00.001-07:00

I'm kind of known for some weird ass dreams. I cant tell you how many twisted nightmares or cracked oit.dreams i've had over the years. Recently my dreams have been weirder than what I am usec to.

Like tonight.
I litterally just woke up, grabbed my phone, and logged in to tell you all.

So in my dream I just returned from a trip, and whiled I was gone my husband became an overnight internet star. I walk into our bathroom and he's standing on one of our dinning room chairs shaving in the reflection of the shiwer head. Then when I look around there is writting all around in lipstick. When I asked what it was amd why it was there he said it was."taglines and screen names from his fans". Then he shows me the spiderman decals that his fans bought him. He gets a call, and walks out of the room. I cant.follow him because i'm peeing... Then I wake up. Omg.

First phone post

2011-05-28T01:02:00.001-07:00

So this is new to me on so many levels. First I am new to this whole 'smart phone' thing, second I'm in a new state of mind. Third, I'm an insomniac posting from my bed when I should be sleeping.

So my fine friends, shall we catch up??

Lets start with school. Wednesday was my last day of spring term and my last day of my first term here I Cali. What a b* of a term it was!!! So in Oregon the school terms are way shorter, think a 2:1 ratio for 'spring' terms. I took 20 credits this term: 1) history & English class 8cr. 2) interior design - materials & techniques 4cr. 3) math - Intro to algebra 4cr. 4) health online course 4cr.

To say it was an intense term is putting it mildly. But I honestly didn't really feel the weight of if until roughly the last 3 weeks. That's when I started to feel like EVERYTHING was due at the exact same time. But to be honest I really enjoyed the term. I learned a lot, not only in the classes but about Cali schools and about the people too.

I have a 10 day break, then summer term starts. I transferred schools due to budget cuts in the Interior design major at the first school. Which stinks because I really enjoyed the girls in that class. But I cant wait around for the classes I need.

My health - I decided to do this topic next because it directly effects my military career and my weight loss goals.
So I'm not sure how much I posted about this before but since about the first of the year I have been battling debilitating migraines. Ive been in the ER 4 times im 5 months, seen 4 different doctors, and have been on countless meds. Its been a rough go of things to say the least. So I finally got a GREAT doc and nurse and things have been looking up. They found out I have a significantly under active thyroid, so I am on daily pills for that. I had a sleep study done, I go in on the 1st for those results. That was an interesting experience. I literally had a pony tail of wires on me head!! I really hope I don't have to do that again, but it is a possibility.

I'm currently on:
1) birth control pills (low hormone)
2) thyroid pill
3) sinus/migraine pill
4) migraine pain pill
5) daily sinus spray

I think I'm missing something, but you get the idea. I know it seems like a lot, but it seems to be working. I've only been to the ER once on this mix of pills, lol. OH!!!! I forgot to tell you I get to sleep with that sexxxy nose strip breathe right thingy, its pretty badass!!!

Military- so I try my best to do my best at whatever I do. But in my military life, I seem to have something that always kept people from seeing my full potential... Until now! This unit has afforded me the opportunity to prove myself and shine!

Ive been able to start a new training program. Ive taken on a lot of responsibility as the booster club prez. Ive started trying to get additional training done for people in need of it, not just in my section.

We had a BIG inspection last month and my troops did outstanding, our section didn't get a single bad note! I'm so proud of them.

Now... If I could only pass my PT test, I would be golden. Its the one stinking pile of shit in my meadow of flowers. As soon as I pass the test, I'll be able to do so so so much more. It will be the last obstacle in my path towards WORLD DOMINATION... BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Speaking of my fitness, on to my weight loss goal...
Now that I can post from my phone, I think I'll be able to update that blog more.

I was seeing a personal trainer, but she kept canceling appointments, and eventually quit on me. I had seen another trainer in the gym, and after one of my canceled appointments I stopped her and asked if she had any openings. Thank goodness she did. She's amazing. I call her my tiny nazi! I mean it in the best way. Shes so motivating and tough at the same time. She has a track record of passing scores. So I really don't want to break that record.

I have SO much riding on this test, I have to pass, their is no other option.

Well..... That about wraps it up. Ill try and post Mor often. It will be easier now that I have this option.

Later gaters.

Friend Making Monday!!

2011-03-21T00:12:00.000-07:00

Friend Making Monday!! I'm so excited to announce that FMM is back! I had been searching and searching the blog I used to do FMM with, but after some personal problems she's stepped back from blogging as much as sue used too.

But I did find FMM in another blog! So excited!!

1) copy this weeks questions and answer them in your own blog
2) come here and comment with a link to your blog, or go to Kenz's blog and link through here.
3) come back every monday to see what this weeks prompts are!!

This week is:

Giving the Boys A Chance

1. Who is your pick for the Final Four?
To be honest, as much as I love the NBA, I really don't follow college ball. I watched the championship football game (I don't even know if its a bowl, or whatever) only because Oregon was in it. And I hope that Washington State Huskies make it all the way, but again thats only because their a NW team. Other than that, I have no opinions.

2. What is your favorite workout/fitness activity?

Does sex count?... no. alright then.
Then I'd have to say its kind of a tie. I really enjoy cardio, but The Jillian Michaels 30DS is also really really good!
Squats/Lunges I love to hate.

3. Do you have a favorite healthy snack? Something that REALLY hits the

spot?
Grapes, I don't know why but I love grapes!!

4. What is your dream car?
I want a Mazda 3. Omg! I want!

5. Have you set any goals for yourself this month? What are they?
I have a PT test I HAVE to pass next month!!!
I dislike running. but I have to get out and do it... as soon as I quit throwing up!

What say you?

Menu Planning Monday!

2011-03-20T23:57:00.000-07:00

Pizza Casserole
Betty Crocker recipe

8 ounces uncooked wheel-shaped macaroni (about 3 1/2 cups)
1/2 pound bulk turkey Italian sausage
2 3/4 cups meatless tomato pasta sauce
1/4 cup sliced ripe olives
1 can (4 ounces) Green Giant® mushroom pieces and stems, drained
1 cup shredded fat-free or part-skim mozzarella cheese (4 ounces)

1.Heat oven to 350º. Cook macaroni as directed on package; drain. Cook sausage in skillet, stirring frequently, until no longer pink; drain.

2 Mix macaroni, sausage, pasta sauce, olives and mushrooms in 2 1/2-quart casserole.

3 Cover and bake about 30 minutes or until hot. Sprinkle with cheese. Let stand about 5 minutes or until cheese is melted.

1 Serving (1 Serving)
• Calories 410o (Calories from Fat 120),• Total Fat 14go (Saturated Fat 4 1/2g,o Trans Fat 0g),• Cholesterol 30mg;• Sodium 1040mg;• Total Carbohydrate 54go (Dietary Fiber 4g,o Sugars 10g),• Protein 18g;Percent Daily Value*: Calcium ;Exchanges:• 3 Starch;• 0 Fruit;• 1 Fat;

Fiery Fettuccine (lighter recipe)
Betty Crocker recipe

8 ounces uncooked fettuccine
1 cup evaporated fat-free milk
1 teaspoon Creole or Cajun seasoning
1 jar (7 ounces) roasted red bell peppers, drained
1/2 pound fully cooked smoked turkey sausage, cut into 1/4-inch slices
2 medium green onions, sliced (1/4 cup)

1 Cook and drain fettuccine as directed on package.

2 While fettuccine is cooking, place milk, Creole seasoning and bell peppers in blender or food processor. Cover and blend on high speed until smooth.

3 Pour pepper mixture into 12-inch skillet. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until mixture thickens. Stir in sausage; heat through but do not boil.

4 Serve sausage mixture over fettuccine. Sprinkle with onions

1 Serving (1 Serving)
Calories 330 o (Calories from Fat 65 ),• Total Fat 7 go (Saturated Fat 2 g,• Cholesterol 80 mg;• Sodium 650 mg;• Total Carbohydrate 48 go (Dietary Fiber 2 g,• Protein 21 g;Percent Daily Value*:• Calcium ;Exchanges:• 3 Starch;• 1 Vegetable;• 1 1/2 Lean Meat;

Whole Wheat Angel Hair Pasta with Sautéed Multicolored Peppers
Bethenny Frankle Recipe

• 2 cups of peppers: a combo of red, yellow and/or orange, sliced in thin strips
• ½ cup chopped onion
• 1 cup halved grape tomatoes
• 8 ounces of whole wheat angel hair
• ¼ cup fresh basil chiffonaded
• ¼ cup parsley
• 1/8 cup olive oil
• 2 teaspoon salt, 2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper
• ¼ cup freshly grated parmesan
• large handful of baby spinach, optional

1. Bring pasta water to a boil, seasoned with salt.
2. In nonstick pan, over medium heat, saute onion and peppers in the olive oil. Season with salt and pepper.
3. When tender, add tomatoes. With tongs, remove pasta from water and add to pan. (The pasta water is good for thickening sauce.)
4. Add spinach and crushed red pepper.
5. Add more salt and pepper if necessary.
6. Top with parmesan to taste and sprinkle basil on top.

Incredibly Easy and Low-Fat Chicken, Pasta, Peppers & Onions
Bethenny Frankle Recipe

• 3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 box whole wheat fusilli pasta
• 16 oz jar or can of favorite tomato sauce
• 1 ½ large red onions, sliced
• 1 ½ large red, orange or yellow peppers, sliced
• 2 tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 2 garlic cloves minced
• 2 ½ teaspoons of salt
• 2 ½ teaspoons of pepper
• 3 teaspoons of Italian seasoning
• 3 tablespoons of fresh chopped parsley

1. Begin by poking the chicken with a fork and adding seasoned salt and pepper on both sides, then cut the breasts into large bite sized pieces.
2. In a large non-stick skillet, heat oil over high heat and add chicken.
3. Cook chicken until lightly brown on both sides (OK if not fully cooked through).
4. Remove chicken from skillet, reduce heat to medium and in the same skillet add the onion, peppers, garlic, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, and dried Italian seasoning. Cook until vegetables begin to soften, about 5 minutes.
5. In a separate pot, begin to boil water, lightly salted, for the pasta.
6. Add the tomato sauce to the skillet with the vegetables and add the chicken back in. Let simmer over low heat for 15 minutes.
7. Once water is boiling, add pasta, after 11 minutes, or desired tenderness, drain the pasta.
8. Add pasta to skillet with sauce.
9. Serve and garnish with the chopped parsley.

Crock Pot Minestrone Soup

Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes

• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 cup carrots, chopped
• 1 celery stalk, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 (28 oz) can diced tomatoes
• 1 (15 oz) can white beans, drained, rinsed (cannellini or navy)
• 3 cups fat free chicken broth (or vegetable broth for vegetarians)
• 1 oz chunk of good Parmesan cheese rind
• 1 fresh rosemary sprig
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 tbsp chopped fresh basil
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
• salt and fresh pepper
• 1 medium zucchini, chopped
• 2 cups chopped fresh or frozen (defrosted) spinach
• 2 cups cooked small pasta like ditalini or elbows (al dente)
• extra parmesan cheese to top (extra pts)
Rinse and drain beans. Puree beans with 1 cup of the broth in a blender.

In a crock pot, combine broth, tomatoes, pureed beans, carrots, celery, onion, garlic, herbs, Parmesan cheese rind, salt and pepper. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.

Forty minutes before the soup is done cooking, add zucchini and spinach. Cover and cook 30 more minutes. Add cooked pasta, cook 10 minutes more. Remove bay leaves, rosemary sprig, parmesan rind and season to taste with salt and black pepper. Ladle soup into bowls and top with extra parmesan cheese.

Servings: 6 • Serving Size: 1 1/2 cups Old Points: 4 • Points+: 5
Calories: 215.7 • Fat: 0.7 g  Protein: 8.7 g  Carb: 42.0 g  Fiber: 6.7 g

Italian Herb Baked Chicken
My Recipe

Chicken breasts
Green peppers
Red onion
Italian dressing (roasted red pepper)

The interwebz has made me paranoid

2011-03-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

So last week on Tuesday I had a really bad headache, so I missed my morning class
I was finally able to function and make it to my afternoon class.

I saw one of my class mates in the parking lot and she said "hey rotty"
I immediately thought, is this a internet crazy? Do I have a stalker?
hahahahaha.

then I remembered my backpack has Rotty stitched on it. and I laughed at myself. hahaha
I should of had a v8 that day. WOW

So I made my self look like an ASS this weekend

2011-03-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

I got served a BIG old case of humble pie yesterday.

So this weekend we had drill, and I was the ONLY supervisor on shift. So I had roughly 15 ‘kids’ to watch. I was a glorified babysitter this weekend, but all in all it wasn’t bad. The one thing that I’m a stickler for more than anything else is theirCDC’s (career development course).

So I knew one of the other new Airmen was in his CDC’s. So I asked him about them, and when he would be done with his end of course test for this volume. They are expected to have each volume completed when they come in on Saturday morning. Saturday was CRAZY busy (I did over 47 evaluations).

So on Sunday I asked him where he was with it. He said he wasn’t completed with it, which honestly I’m happy he was honest. He’s not my normal troop, and I know that his supervisor is more lenient. So I told him I needed it by sign out.I go back into the class room where I tell my Airmen to ‘study’. I don’t care if your doing homework, or cdc’s. As long as your where I expect you to be, and are doing something productive, I can’t be do mad… anyways, I go back there and he’s MIA. I go back several times, and he’s still gone. Right now I’m PISSED! So I tell one of the other Airmen to call him and to come see me ASAP! So I pull him a side and I lay into him. I don’t yell but I talk really sternly.

Come sign out (over 4 hours after I told him to work on them), he still isn’t completed. He says “XX told me that I didn’t have to, I have till the end of the month.” WHOA WHOA WHOA! So I take off to go talk to XX, only to learn that this Airmen that I have been harping on all damn day is AHEAD OF SCHEDULE! He’s working on NEXT months CDC!

::insert head straight up ass::

Wow.

I apologized in front of EVERYONE!I was wrong, and I knew it. I apologized from the bottom of my heart for doubting him, for not looking at his contract (which says what volume he should be on), I apologized for scolding him.

I’m so used to my problem children that I just assumed he was behind. Boy was I wrong. I felt like a complete and total ass!!!

The worst part is... this kid (he's 27) is the SWEETEST fella! I swear to god. He's the kind of person you want to protect from everything. I hate myself for scolding him. Ugh!

Well... This is interesting

2011-03-17T23:32:00.000-07:00

So we got briefed this weekend that the Air Force is OUT of money. They are seriously OUT.

We have enough to get paid for this weekend, but all extra duty is canceled. Deployments are getting delayed, orders are being canceled.

Our sister units are unsure about if they are going to be able to be paid.

They've canceled the rotators flight that goes from base to base picking up reservists. This is devastating news for a LOT of people that depend on it to get to the base for the weekends.

They've grounded missions and cargo flights because the Air Force can't afford to fund them.

This is insane. I have never seen it this bad. It’s just crazy.

My friend shared THIS LINK with me. OMG!

My career field is one of the few that still has primary enlistment bonuses.

We've closed bases too, thats why we had to switch to drilling over 150 miles away from home. They even made our old base is now a 'super base' to help save money in both the Army and the Air Force.

Its crazy. We're SO understaffed as a whole. both as a reserve unit and on the Active Duty side, and we keep shrinking.

Menu Planning Monday

2011-03-08T00:43:00.000-08:00

Yep, It really is(was) Monday again. Time for another round of Menu Planning Monday (even though its almost 1am on Tuesday)

This is what we're having in the Rotty House this week.
I've quit assigning days, because they always get messed up.

Turkey Stuffed Peppers
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 6 servings (1/2 pepper)  Time: 55 minutes  Old Points: 4 • Points+: 5
Calories: 184.7 • Fat: 2.3 g  Protein: 20.8 g  Carb: 20.2 g  Fiber: 1.6 g
• 1 lb lean chopped turkey meat
• 1 garlic, minced
• 1/4 onion, minced
• 1 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro or parsley
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp cumin powder
• salt to taste
• 3 large sweet red bell peppers, washed
• 1 cup fat free chicken broth
• 1/4 cup tomato sauce
• 1 1/2 cups cooked rice
• Olive oil spray
• 1/4 cup reduced fat shredded cheese

Heat oven to 400°. Spray a little olive oil spray in a medium size saute pan and heat on a medium flame. Add onion, garlic and cilantro to the pan. Saute about 2 minutes and add ground turkey. Season with salt and garlic powder, and cumin and brown meat for several minutes until meat is completely cooked through. Add 1/4 cup of tomato sauce and 1/2 cup of chicken broth, mix well and simmer on low for about 5 minutes. Combine cooked rice and meat together.

Cut the bell peppers in half lengthwise, and remove all seeds. Place in a baking dish. Spoon the meat mixture into each pepper half and fill it with as much as you can. Place all stuffed pepper halves on the baking dish and pour the remainder of the chicken broth on the bottom of the pan. Cover tight with aluminum foil and bake for about 35 minutes. Top with shredded cheddar cheese and enjoy.

Baked Chicken Parmesan
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 8  Serving Size: 1 piece • Old Points: 5 pts • Points+: 6 pts
Calories: 224.5 • Fat: 8.6 g • Protein: 25.1 g • Carb: 14.2 g • Fiber: 1.3 g
• 4 (8 oz) chicken breast halves, sliced in half
• 3/4 cup seasoned breadcrumbs (I used 4C whole wheat)
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 tbsp butter, melted
• 3/4 cup reduced fat mozzarella cheese (I used Sargento)
• 1 cup marinara or Filetto di Pomodoro

• cooking spray
Preheat oven to 450°. Spray a large baking sheet lightly with spray.

Combine breadcrumbs and parmesan cheese in a bowl. Melt the butter in another bowl. Lightly brush the butter onto the chicken, then dip into breadcrumb mixture. Place on baking sheet and repeat with the remaining chicken.

Lightly spray a little more cooking oil on top and bake in the oven for 20 minutes. Turn chicken over, bake another 5 minutes. Remove from oven, spoon sauce over chicken and top with shredded cheese. Bake 5 more minutes or until cheese is melted.

Crock Pot Minestrone Soup
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 6 • Serving Size: 1 1/2 cups Old Points: 4 • Points+: 5
Calories: 215.7 • Fat: 0.7 g  Protein: 8.7 g  Carb: 42.0 g  Fiber: 6.7 g
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 cup carrots, chopped
• 1 celery stalk, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 (28 oz) can diced tomatoes
• 1 (15 oz) can white beans, drained, rinsed (cannellini or navy)
• 3 cups fat free chicken broth (or vegetable broth for vegetarians)
• 1 oz chunk of good Parmesan cheese rind
• 1 fresh rosemary sprig
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 tbsp chopped fresh basil
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
• salt and fresh pepper
• 1 medium zucchini, chopped
• 2 cups chopped fresh or frozen (defrosted) spinach
• 2 cups cooked small pasta like ditalini or elbows (al dente)
• extra parmesan cheese to top (extra pts)
Rinse and drain beans. Puree beans with 1 cup of the broth in a blender.

In a crock pot, combine broth, tomatoes, pureed beans, carrots, celery, onion, garlic, herbs, Parmesan cheese rind, salt and pepper. Cover and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.

Forty minutes before the soup is done cooking, add zucchini and spinach. Cover and cook 30 more minutes. Add cooked pasta, cook 10 minutes more. Remove bay leaves, rosemary sprig, parmesan rind and season to taste with salt and black pepper. Ladle soup into bowls and top with extra parmesan cheese.

Creamy Taco Mac
Annie's Eats

Ingredients:
1¼ lbs. ground turkey
8 oz. dry pasta shapes
1 small onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 (14 oz.) can diced tomatoes, drained
4 tbsp. taco seasoning
3 oz. cream cheese
½ cup sour cream
Salt and pepper
Shredded cheddar cheese (optional)
Directions:
Bring a large pot of water to boil. Cook pasta according to the package directions. Drain, reserving ½ cup of pasta water. Set aside.
Meanwhile, in a large skillet or sauté pan, cook the ground turkey over medium-high heat until no longer pink. A few minutes before the turkey is cooked through, add the chopped onion to the skillet. Once the turkey is cooked through, mix in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Mix in the diced tomatoes and taco seasoning and let simmer over medium heat for about 5 minutes. Stir in the cooked pasta, cream cheese, sour cream and reserved pasta water, and continue stirring until the cream cheese is melted and the sauce is well blended. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Simmer over medium-low heat 3-5 minutes to reduce the sauce a bit. Remove from the heat and top with shredded cheddar cheese, if desired.

Fajitas

Ingredients:
2-4 Chicken breasts
2 peppers
1 onion
Fajita seasoning
Mexican cheese
Sour cream
Taco shells

Crock pot salsa chicken

Ingredients:
4 chicken breasts
2 jars salsa
1cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup pepper jack cheese
Brown rice

Put 2 jars salsa, and chicken breasts in a crock pot on low for 8 hours of on high for 4 hours.

right before you are ready to eat add shredded cheese to the crock pot

Cook brown rice

Serve chicken and salsa-cheese sauce over brown rice

I have no idea the calories. but it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good!

Talked to my husband

2011-03-05T13:35:00.000-08:00

About whats been really bugging me.

I told him that I'm really struggling with being so far away from my family and my friends. and that I'm not sad that I stopped being friends with the two girls here, but its just difficult.

I told him that I get that he needs to get out of the house. and so it doesn't bother me that he goes to the gym to play basketball with the guys. but that leaves me home for another 2 hours alone.

He said, why don't you go home for spring break. and to be honest. for a weekend it would be great. but I don't want to be gone all week.

He asked about the girl I talk about in my math class. I told him that she seems down to earth. we've just become FB friends. lol. He told me to set up a "girl date"! haha.

I cried. but he was really understanding.

I had to tell him that my school is different then my school. He went to class with the same people for several classes.

I go to 3 different classes and see 60 different faces. i'm lucky if i make a connection with 1 person.

He said that hopefully when I transfer schools it will be a bit more structured so I can make a little more connections between people.

I'm hoping to get out of the house together maybe go hiking for a couple hours or something like that.

I'm still not 100% mentally, but I feel loads better getting it off my chest.
I've been super clingy lately and today he got really annoyed at me (to be honest if the tables were reversed, i would be too). so i just told him how i was feeling.

Its been rough

2011-03-05T11:49:00.000-08:00

first its p-week so i'm overly emotional as it is. So the things that got me so upset seem kind of minor, but when added all up it was just more than I could handle.

I called my mom last night and just cried.
It just hit me how hard it is to be so far away from home and have no friends.

The whole school situation is hard. And I think that I don't get to see B much now, whats going to happen when my school is over an hour away?

I feel like I don't really get to spend time with him because he's on nights, and when we are home together. I spend a lot of time in my office doing my homework. I have to stay on top of it because if i take a day off I just drown in it.

We try and stay on top of the chorese, he's been trying to help. but it just got over whelming.

The landlord is a dirt bag and I just want to get out of this place. but we still have about 6 months on the lease.

My head aches are out of control. I have one about every 3 days now.

My headache meds don't help my sleeping. They make me drowsy, but won't actually let me get sleep. so the first 2 hours i'm actually asleep Its that awkward half sleep where you have wicked vivid weird dreams.

I'm still struggling with my re-enlistment bonus. I still don't have the last payment from my first bonus.

I had to call my old state DMV again because they never got me the documents to get my license renewed from here. I do NOT want a drivers license in this state.

I had to call the VA because my school still hasn't been paid off. but they show that its been paid, so now i have to go to my school and figure out why they haven't posted it.

I'm just spent.
I'm tired
I'm sore
I'm over it.
I just want my mommy

Sometimes there are no words..

2011-02-23T00:27:00.000-08:00

So I don't remember if I posted on this topic or not.

My BFF A has a scuzzy evil boy friend/fiance. It really depends on what day of the week it is on their status.

When I say scuzzy, I don't mean dead beat dad or a lazy ass loser. I'm talking about a verbally abusive, manipulative, ass hole of EPIC proportions.

He's told A that She's a terrible mother, that D is a horrid kid and its all her fault. He's told her that no one will ever love her like he does and that the only men that she will find will fuck her and leave her like the trash she is.... and so on... and so on...

They live together in a 2 bedroom apartment, that he pays for. but the second bedroom isn't for D, OH NO! That is his office 'his space'. So D sleeps in the same room as them.

I could go on, but i'll stop there.

On Thursday my BFF A left her scuzzy BF/Fiance

that night he got mad over something small, threw her phone against the wall (the one D sleeps against). and said if she didn't do what he said, he'd kick them out, this was at 3 am and she has to get up at 530 for work.

He showed up at her work the next day bringing the crazy all up in the lobby of her work. demanding that she give him her keys so he could take their car home and move all her shit out.

She showed up at their place with her mom (left D (my amazing god son)at her moms place) and moved the majority of her stuff out.

he cried, and begged, etc.
He even went as far as to take out a gun (wtf) and threaten to kill himself.
He gave her his old phone, so he could be in contact with her. She took it because her moms place doesn't have a land line.

She left, and is at her moms place. (her mom is all moved out and living with her boyfriend), so she has a month to find a new place before their lease is up.

He called/texted her begging.
His friend texted/posted on FB that he's in the hospital with chest pains. Apparently he has high blood pressure.
They diagnosed him with an anxiety attack and doped him up. his friend says he keeps asking for her.

I call bull shit/mind games.

She's free financially of him once she gets her tax return (she's getting close to 5000).

I wish I could say I was surprised, but I'm not.
She took him back.
She found out last night he cheated on her 2x
but he threatened to go home to Thailand. and she freaked out about him leaving.

She honest to goodness said "If I can get him to agree to go to therapy, I can fix this"
I just want her to be free of him.
But he'll be good for a couple days. and she'll let her self soften up to him. and the cycle will just repeat.

This makes me sad beyond words. Like my post title suggests. Sometimes there are no words.
I can't let myself be sucked into it any more.
I have to distance myself.

I'm far enough away now that I can't physically help her anymore. but my heart just can't take the drama.

I swear to all that is holy, that if she tells me that he's verbally abusing her again, or he starts a verbal tirade I'm calling CPS.
No one is looking out for that little boy. I love him with every fiber of my being and he is my one and only priority in this fucked up situation.

lets talk about school

2011-02-08T21:22:00.000-08:00

First, Rotty's Headache Watch 2011 - Update - I have a follow up appointment tomorrow at 830am with a doctor to follow up on my ER visit. Hopefully they'll adjust my meds and make it so *that* never ever happens again.

So I've had a love hate (mostly hate) relationship with this school. I've been frustrated and fighting with them to get my GI bill situated. Along with the frustrations figuring the school out, getting registered, buying books etc.

Today I found out the my major department is being drastically cut back. The one major class that I needed for the fall I found out isn't being offered, nor do they know when they will offer it again.

This just adds to the frustration I've felt getting transferred to a degree program that was significantly lacking compared to my last school. And now not only am I taking classes that might not be needed for the next school I go to, but I have to go through this whole process all over again.

And the school is further away to boot. It's just a crap-tastic- situation all around.

But lets end this post on a good note. I do love tuesdays for one reason: Lunch int he sunshine
Just me in the car, the radio on low, my book, and the sunshine for a whole hour. no chores, no homework, no worries! Just sunshine and reading.

The Saga Continues

2011-02-07T22:44:00.001-08:00

So this round of head ache's wound me in the ER.

After 3 days of fighting it off on my own and self medication, my husband ordered me to get dressed because he was taking me to the ER.

Friday I woke up with a slight headache. I met a friend for lunch, took some meds before i left, and went about my day. That night i settled down and it got worse. I took some more pills and then when I went to bed I took my night time pills.

Saturday I woke up with a SCREAMER of a head ache. I couldn't move, open my eyes, or itch with out being in crazy amounts of pain. I moved from my bed to the couch and thats about it. I spent the majority of the day asleep. I went to bed about 8 o'clock on saturday. I woke up at around 930 and lost all of the food I had taken in that day. Which wasn't much, it was mostly saltines and fluids. I texted B to let him know. He called me all worried.

On Sunday when I woke up and wasn't much better, B made the decision that I needed to go to the ER asap.

I was in the ER for 3 hours. I got 2 bags of IV Fluids and 3 rounds of IV meds.
The ER doc told me he thought that the dosage of my medication needed to be re worked. That or I need my night meds to be switched to a differant medication. Which i would prefer just for the simple fact that it aids in weight loss.
I was woozy and fairly doped up when i left the ER, I came home and forced myself to eat something. Then I went to bed. I slept so sound.

I woke up today feeling more like myself than I had an a week. I got more accomplished today then I have all week. I was still feeling a little tired, So I went to my math class, but left after my test. I came home and relaxed and studied for my big test in my history class tomorrow. I should be asleep now. But, I think with all the sleeping I've done the last 3 days its kinda caught up to me a bit.

Tomorrow is my long day of classes. I have my hardest class 930 - 1220 and then my interior design snooze fest from 2-530

I will try and make it through all day with out taking my meds because they make it hard to concentrate, but I'm hoping I won't need them!

I also have to call the doctors office to make a follow up appointment to my ER visit. Hopefully at that point we can re address my meds.

Mister sandman... bring me a dream

2011-02-04T23:27:00.000-08:00

No seriously, please let me sleep.

Today/Tonight my head hurts so bad.

I went to sleep last night with a minor head ache. I thought between the stressful week, loads of homework, and lack of sleep somewhere in the mix is the cause of my minor head ache.

I accidentally slept in till 11 am. I went to bed at 2 (not for lack of trying) so i wasn't to worried about it. The part that bothered me was that I woke up with a head ache. I took 2 of my 'day' pills before I left to run errands at noon. I started to feel better about 1-2ish. by 7 my head ache was back in full force.

its now midnight, I've taken 2 more 'day pills' and my night pill (not all at the same time) and my head hurts so bad that I'm nauseous, I have saltines next to my bed to help settle my tummy. It hurts so bad it my molars and jaw joint hurts.

Ugh. I want desperately to go to sleep, just to get away from this pain.
B is still saying that I'm not getting enough water, even though the doctor said its not the reason. I'll still up my water intake anyways.
B also said that the reason my pills take so long to kick is is that I take them on a full stomach. I get that, but it was engraved in my head growing up that your always supposed to eat when you take anything.

I guess its just me, the pup and late night TV (currently its on Teen Mom2)

Me and Sammy
He makes everything a little bit better!

Ugh. PMS. Pissy Men Syndrom

2011-02-03T23:51:00.000-08:00

Gah. B is on a fucking rampage tonight.

Right after I got home from class I was doing some chores around the house. He did the dishes last night while i did my homework. I said thank you for doing the dishes more than once.

So today I didn't have any rush homework, so I decided to clean out the fridge and do the dishes from the leftovers.

He walks in the kitchen (after I cleaned out the fridge, took out the garbage, took the cans to the curb, and was in the process of emptying the dishwasher) and says... "well, looks like you made short work of that!" Implying it didn't take me long to make the kitchen a mess agian.

Then after he got home from working out, he see's that I rented movies. He gets so upset that I rented movies. He tells me to stop spending money because we need to save money. I get it, but for FUCKING SERIOUS. its $17.00 every couple days. He works nights. there's only so much TV a girl can watch before she goes bizerk.

He can be so hard on me sometimes. I go in to his office to say I'm sorry and that I didn't realize that it was hurting us financially that much and I wouldn't rent so many next time. and he says... and i quote "yeah yeah... you didn't realize..." and goes back to his computer.

We hang out have dinner (I made roasted chicken breast and onion potatoes) watch a movie (The Other Guys) and everything seemed cool.

Then I couldn't get a jug of cranberry juice open, So I took it to B in his office to help.

He asks why i'm drinking cranberry juice, So i tell him. He asks "oh yah, whats in the freezer?" I say, "huh?" He says, "got some vokda did you?"

uh no... You told me last night that even 2 beers has an effect on my meds, why would I switch to hard alcohol?

I know he's just so tired, He doesn't normally act like this. But come on!

Its just that he needs sleep.

We were supposed to get our cable upgraded. The cable guy was supposed to be here around 2-4

he showed up (waking b up) at 115, waking B up. he normally sleeps until 4-430.

I love this man with all my heart but i'm so over today.

I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic,

2011-02-02T23:00:00.000-08:00

... Awful, beautiful life

This new schedule/life style is kicking my ass!!
I know that I signed up for it, yada yada yada. but this is my blog and I'll whine if i want to.

the past week and a half has been sort of a 'transition' of sorts.
This is my class schedule
Monday: Math 1-330
Tuesday: History/English 930-1220 & Interior Design (materials & techniques) 2-530
Wednesday: Math 1-330
Thursday: History/English 930-1220
(soon i'll have an online class to boot, it starts in March. Why? I have not a clue)

Doesn't seem to bad, right? .... if you answered right to that question you are WRONG!

Every Math class I have a review worksheet, then a quiz, and then lecture. Yep, Every class (2 times a week) I have a Quiz or a test.

My History/English class is a new type of class. Its a 2 part class. It is English 02 and History 037 together. Its called a 'learning community'. Its actually a really interesting class. But there is a lot of work involved. I take no less than 6 pages of notes per class period. This class has 3 required text books, so there is a lot of reading.

My Interior Design class is not at all what I had expected. I thought it would be like the M&T class back at PCC. This class is all about field trips to different locations and manufacturers. Each class we have a guest speaker or a tour to go on. This isn't so bad except they're located all over the area. After each class meeting we're required to write a paper on what we learned, experienced, or took away from what we did or saw. Very vague, very open ended, and VERY frustrating.

To top it all of I'm started getting these head shattering headaches. I went to the doctor and he gave me some new medications. All the over the counter mix and match was not working for me.

The doctor said that if the meds don't help with in a month, or if they get any worse I'll go back in and get some head and body scans done.

Its been a whirlwind, but i'm hoping this next week I'll be able to get into the grove and hopefully be able to find time to get back into the gym. I need the gym time to get some of my frustrations out.

And the hits just keep coming.

2011-01-26T21:24:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned in my last blog post. I've been fighting with the military in order to get my reenlistment bonus.

I went in on Monday to provide the paperwork to prove that i was supposed to be in a duty position before i reenlisted. The woman who works in the office said that the only person who could back date my file wasn't in on Monday. I asked it i could come back and check on it.

Tuesday I had class all day and couldn't make it back on base.

Wednesday I went on base after my class. I was told that the woman who could back date it was only on duty for another 10 minutes, which in government work means that she's done for the day. the woman in the office went and talked to her and I was told that I was trying to back date it in the system 'to far back'. which is so frustrating.

She said she would 'see what she could do' and if I didn't hear from her by Friday (tomorrow) than I'm supposed to call her. But, I'm going to be on duty tomorrow. So I figure I'll just swing by.

I'm just frustrated. I just really need the money. and to be honest, i have NO idea what the bonus is. I just know that I deserve it, but they won't give it to me easily.

gah!

Frustrated at life.

2011-01-26T09:46:00.000-08:00

I start my second week of school this week. I'm going through a lot of transitions at my unit. I'm struggling to keep afloat already and I’m only one week in.

I came to a realization that I can't fix people and they're going to be fucking crazy with or without me. And that the only time me and B have really fought since we moved down here has to do with 2 people. So I’m slowly fazing them out. Not a big dramatic cut ties, but a lot less them and a lot more me. It was a long time coming. I just need to realize that I can't fix people at the deficit of me and my relationship.

That just means that B's the only person I have to talk to here now. So its back to the blog to vent and release. After all the whole reason I started this blog was to deal with my anxiety. So why not go back to that.

I found out last Thursday that there is a complication with my re-enlistment bonus. And I’m fighting to get it. My military records in the system didn't accurately reflect what it needed to, so until I get that fixed, I can't get my money. Which is stressful because B's been stressing his student loans and CC balance. I went in and corrected what was holding up the process, but what do you figure, the only person who can fix the glitch wasn't in. So now I have to go back in today to see if it was fixed.

I was on duty on Friday and Saturday. Friday I go into get on a computer and I can't get into the system. After fighting for 3 hours, the Com. people tell me that I’ve been completely deleted from the entire system. My old base is migrating there system and when the deleted the people who are no longer there, they delete them out of the system as a whole. I didn't get computer access till 2:30. The duty day ends at 4:30. It was so frustrating. I got the opportunity to come in and work every Friday to get the training material together for the inspection we have coming up. Its a GREAT opportunity for me to prove myself and show what I know. But, it can also place me in a spot light and that isn't always a good thing. People often think that if its 'not broke, why fix it'. Unfortunately, there is a lot that needs to be fixed in this unit.

I had to talk to B today about helping me out around the house. I told him that my class schedule is going to be hard core this term and i can't continue to do it all around the house like I have been. I told him that on his days off he's going to need to help me. He seemed to take it okay, and even made dinner for me tonight. He's been really trying because he already see's how much home work I have already, and again its only the second week.

I'm just frustrated.
Mostly I'm over tired. My sleep has been for shit lately. I'll have 1 or 2 days of good sleep, then i have a string of days of really poor sleep.

I really have no point to this I just needed to vent.
Thank you for listening.

Insomnia Blogging

2011-01-12T00:13:00.000-08:00

Hello blogosphere.

Tonights the 5th or 6th night B's been working nights. I'm laying in bed pondering life's lessons, thinking about the deep meanings or something like that.

such as, I hate wearing clothes to bed. but it just doesn't feel right when B's not home and in bed. So it takes me longer to fall asleep, but it feels better. How the eff does that work.

or

how can I love 1 author so much that i can't put down her books on one series. but on the new series I'm struggling to get through each book. How does she go from insomnia inducing to coma inducing?
OR
who is the artist of this?
I don't know why i love this so much, I found it on another tumblr account. I fell in love with it. and stole it. I would give a photo-credit, but don't know which one I got it from.

Speaking of Tumblr.
I have one! I'm trying to do a 365 photo challenge. I had a lot of friends try this, and some have already stopped. its only 11 (technically 12) days into the new year.

MrsRotty365

I've been doing pretty good. I've been thinking of starting a challenge, or theme each week to try and make it interesting. Like I'm thinking about making next week an 'inside my house' week. Take pictures of things only inside my house. Or, a 'view from my couch' where every picture I take must be from the seated position on some portion of my couch (which is hugenormous by the way). We shall see though. I'm afraid if i give myself to much restrictions, I won't follow through. Right now its easy to post a random picture a day.... but we are only 11 days in.

I'm also keeping up with my 'healthy life style change'.

I'm trying to get a group of online friends to do a 'biggest loser challenge'. As well as doing a 90 day challenge with my friend in real life. Plus I've started doing the Insanity work outs again.

I really don't have a 'wrap it up' type of comment for all this, but I will leave you with a wee bit of awesomeness

When enough is enough

2011-01-10T11:17:00.000-08:00

So in my last blog i stated that I was at a loss.

The reason I'm lost is in regards to one of my best friends in the whole world. I've talked about her a lot before on here. She's my best friend and the mother of my god son.

The problem is she's in an abusive relationship...... again. She's been with this boy (I say boy because men don't abuse women) for over a year now. and the longer she's been with him the worse he keeps getting. He isn't physically abusive, but he is mentally and verbally abusive xBizzilion.

On thursday night, It got so bad that she had to lock her self in their bathroom in order to get away from his verbal war he was waging against her.

On Friday, she went in for an abortion. The whole day he was calling, texing, and emailing her telling her he was moving all her stuff out of the house and that she was out on her own and that he wasn't going to be there for her at her appointment

Friday night, she was back with him. Telling me 'she hates how much she loves him'.

I feel so twisted with emotions inside.

I feel terrible that I'm not there to rescue her this time.
I feel terrible i wasn't there for her at her appointment to be the comfort he can't and won't be.

I feel incredibly relieved that I am free of the drama because i'm over 600 miles away with no possible way to get home to her.

If my godson wasn't in the middle of all of this, I probably would have cut ties with her and the drama a long long time ago.

but unfortunately there's a sweet little boy caught up in the mix, and I'm not about to let him out of my life any time soon.

Friday Fill Ins

2011-01-07T12:24:00.000-08:00

1. It's 2011; I _____.

2. _____ pickles.

3. Thankfully I have my _____.

4. _____ the best things in life.

5. I am so _____.

6. _____ bowl _____.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _____, tomorrow my plans include _____ and Sunday, I want to _____!

1. It's 2011; I am so excited for what the new year bring.

2. I HATE pickles.

3. Thankfully I have my husband.

4. he brings out the best things in life.

5. I am so lucky and loved.

6. I love to go bowling.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing good friends, tomorrow my plans include going to drill and trying to stay awake and Sunday, I want to make sure I get everything accomplished.

I'm at a loss

2011-01-06T23:47:00.000-08:00

I'm alone... in my bedroom... folding clothes @11:47pm

your probably asking 3 questions.
1) why are you alone?
2) why are you still up?
and the big one
3) why are you at a loss?

Well, I'm alone because my husband starting working nights yesterday. He's on shift at the hospital (he's an RN) from 6pm -7:30am. So I'm alone pretty much all day now.

I'm alone when I go to bed. when I get up, he's going to bed. I'm alone all day (trying to be as quite as possible). He gets up for dinner and then leaves for work. we're together for about 3-4 hours a day now.

This is going to be a long 4 months. d

At his place of employment they're shifted from day shift to night shift every 3-4 months. That way they never get to burned out on one shift of the other.

but for those with families, I just can't imagine how hard night shift would be. I mean right now its just me and Sammy-poochy. and it already sucks and we're only on day (or night) 2.

Why I'm still up is because I'm the freaking best wife EVER.
What I do before I go to bed is fold my husbands clothes.
while he's sleeping I do laundry. The washer and dryer and bedroom are on opposite ends of the house.

So before I go to bed, I nest a little by folding his clothes and making the bed. Even though he doesn't notice, and i'm the only one sleeping in the bed. but thats okay.

the reason I'm at a loss....
I think this is going to be a post for another night.

I think I'm learning

2010-12-27T16:18:00.000-08:00

So as you all probably have come to know i have a bad bad habit of finding friends who are needy and use me.

I know i do it, I don't mean too. but I do.

So I made a friend down here. She lives on base and is in my unit. I think i've talked about her before.

Anways. to the point of this post...

We have been dieting, working out, and basically spending a lot of time together. I invited her, her husband, and her daughter over for christmas dinner several weeks ago. She said she'd come and even offered to bring over green bean casserole.

So christmas keeps coming closer and we're shopping for food. I buy a 14lb turkey to feed us 5 (and have extra in case bri had a couple coworkers who wanted to come). I buy all the fixens as well. the only thing she had to do was do what she said, and show up. We kept talking about how happy I am that they are coming because it is my first holiday with out my family. Christmas is always a big holiday with my family so I would really enjoy the company to ease the blow a bit, you know?

Christmas eve I text her to tell her about what time we'll eat. She texts me back at 8pm on christmas eve saying she's not coming because her husband doesn't want to.

I was SO upset. B was mad. He actually told me to not bring her around for a long time because he won't be able to filter his feelings.

I know that this is setting a presidence for future behavior in this relationship. and i'm just ducking out now.

I have to be friendly with her because we're on the booster club together and we're in the same unit. but i'm just done with friendships like this.

my feelings are still really hurt. I know i'm probably going a little over board, but I just can't take on another needy and use-y friend

So Rotty, What did you do this weekend?

2010-12-06T17:19:00.000-08:00

Oh, I'm so glad you asked.

I watched 28 woman pee! Aren't you jealous!?

::slams forehead into stall door::

The conversation goes

Me: Step into my office :snaps rubber gloves & opens bathroom door:
Me: Place the small bottle on the sink and take the large one in with you
Pee Person: Wow, you're job sucks.
Me: You think?
Pee Person: :laughs: this is embarrassing
Me: Its not that bad. ::starts talking about something other than them urinating::
Pee Person: ::pees:: ::tries to hide the smile on their face::
Me: place the cup on the floor where I can see it.
Pee Person: ::Buttons up uniform::
Me: take the big bottle, pour it into the small bottle and seal tight. if you need to wash your hands, you can only use water.
Pee Person: ONLY WATER? why is that?
Me: I don't know, I'm just following the rules.
Pee Person: Why don't you know?
Me: Um... I don't work here. I just got volun-told to do this yesterday.
Pee Person: that sucks

This same senerio happened all 28 times.

It wasn't bad until I had to watch my supervisor pee. THAT was awk.ward.

man. i watched people pee for 3 hours. interesting, but not fun.

There was supposed to be 2 female observer's and 3 male observer's.

unfortunately, the other female has a UIF (unfavorable information file) so she couldn't observe.

So all the female pee watching was left for me! OMG!

I had 4 beers last night. I was EXHAUSTED!

There was the first woman who had to pee so bad that she peed on her hand.

There was the pregnant chick who had the clearest pee of them all.

There was the hungover chick who's pee was orange ::gag::

There was the woman who told me she thought she was pregnant, but didn't want it to happen right now because she was trying to time it around our next inspection so she didn't have to go.

There was the deliriously tired woman who i honestly had to tell her step by step how to do it. no joke.

There was the tiny chick who was so afraid of the toilet seat that she pee'd on it. She was trying to hold her self off the seat by using the hand rail (I had them use the handicap stall so they had more room) and she ended up turning her but towards the cup. and she pee'd on the seat.

it was an interesting day to say the least.

Massive Book Review

2010-11-20T17:25:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since I did a book review (by a while I mean over a year).

These are the Series & Books I've read recently

Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater

This book was good. but was hard to get into. I really enjoyed it once it was all done, but didn't rush out to get the next one right away.

It is a good story line and has an interesting twist. I'm sticking with my normal go to books and this is about werewolves. It adds a different twist to the normal 'werewolves story'.

The end of the book did leave me hanging, I do plan on reading the next book. But, I'm in no hurry to buy it.

Carpe Demon by Julie Kenner

My mother gave me this book (and the second California Demon). But to be totally honest. I couldn't finish it. I tried! I really did! I took it everywhere with me. but It just couldn't keep my interest.

The story line is about a retired demon hunter who is forced out of retirement due to an increase of demon activity. It sounded good in theory, but I just couldn't make it through.

Thirst by Christopher Pike

This book sounded soooooooooooooo interesting. I had been looking forward to reading these books for the longest time.

MAN was I disappointed.

I forced myself to finish book 1, which included The Last Vampire, Black Blood, Red Dice.

I bought the book 2, which has the stories Phantom, Evil Thirst, Creatures of Forever. I couldn't finish it. Could NOT! The plot line is so dry. The story just drug on forever and ever. I still have them and will probably try to get through it again, because I do want to know what happened to the characters.

Blue Bloods series by Melissa De La Cruz

I can not say enough good things about this series. I'm so in love with these books. I first read them when I was flying home from Iraq. I was looking forward to them so much, that I saved them for the long ass plane ride home.

I don't want to give a lot away. but this is a vampire story with a good twist to the typical plot.

There are 2 books out now that fall with in this series.
Misguided Angel & Key to the Repository (which is a bio book). I'm so excited to get these books. I love love love this series.

House of Night series by P.C & Kristin Cast

Again, this is another series I absolutely LOVE.

I just finished the 7th book, Burned.

I highly recommend these books.
They are another vampire series. Its about a girl (Zoey) who has been marked to be a vampire. It is an interesting twist to the typical young vampire story. Zoey has powers far beyond her own imagination.

Each book leaves you aching for more. These are good easy reads and it is not odd for me to finish one of these books in 1 day. 2 days tops!

There are 7 books in the series
1) Marked, 2) Betrayed, 3) Chosen, 4) Untamed, 5) Hunted 6) Tempted, 7) Burned, 8) Awakened (available Jan 4, 2011).

Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris
(dead in the family & a touch of dead)

If I had a dollar for every person I got addicted to this series, I'd be a rich woman. These books are SO GOOD. These books are much more adult than the other books I have read. These are not for the faint of heart of the pure of body (if you catch my drift). I often refer to these books (among others) as vampire smut. So good at being sooo bad.

This book was good, but there have been better. Honestly, I had to go read the blurb about it on amazon in order to remember exactly what happened in this book.

I feel like the author has been pressured to put out these books a little bit quicker now that they're so popular. I would rather wait and have her come out with an OUTSTANDING story, then get the book sooner and have it just be okay. But I have never once regretted reading a story in this series, nor have I ever had any problems finishing them.

I highly highly highly recommend these books.
this is book is #10.
There is a companion book coming out in Feb 2011. ~~but book #11 has yet to be announced.~~ After doing some research I found that the title of Book #11 is Dead Reckoning, and is due to be released May 3rd, 2011. (I know what I'm getting my mom for mothers day!)

Evernight Series by Claudia Gray

It took me a while to warm up to these books. The first book took a little while to get into.

These books follow a girl named Bianca as her parents move to become teaches at a prestigious boarding school. She knows something is wrong with this school, but can't quite put her finger on it. You follow her story as she finds out about her parents, her self, and her past!

I really enjoyed these books. The next book in the series Afterlife, is due to be release March 8, 2011. And I WILL be buying this book ASAP! After the way the last one ended, I can't wait to get my hands on the 4th book.

Vampire Academy Series by Richelle Mead

This is another series that took me a little bit to get into. Trust me when I say, if you can make it through the 1st book you will NOT regret it.

I feel like you can really feel the author mature in her writing as the series progresses.

I have only read the first 4 books (pictured). I was unaware until tonight that the 5th book has been released and the 6th book has been announced.

Book #5 - Spirit Bound - will soon be in my hands
Book #6 - Last Sacrafice - is due to be released December 7th.

These books follow Rose. She's half human & half vampire. She's supposed to be being trained to be a guardian to the vampires. Book #4 has by far been my favorite of the series. So, I really can't wait to read Book #5.

Hunger Games Series by Suzanne Collins

If I could stand on a soap box and profess my love for these books I would. I'd wear a sandwich board, ring a bell, and sing. No joke!

These books came recommended from a friend. but the story line didn't really catch my interest. So I put it off and put it off. Finally about 2 weeks ago I was in Target with another friend and the 1st book was 30% off. So I bought it. I read the first book in less than 20 hours and was in desperate need for the second and 3rd books. Thank the lord they were already out.

These books are set in a post-apocalyptic US. They follow a young girl named Katniss Everdeen. I could go on and on about these books, but because they are so fresh in my mind I don't want to give to much away. I am telling you go out and buy these books! You will not regret it!!!

The third and final book leaves a little to be desired. but with it being the final book, the author did need to tie up some loose ends. I do like the way it ended. I'm really glad she include the epilogue, because with out it I would have been REALLY mad.

Please go buy these books. So worth it.

Morganville Vampire series by Rachel Crane

This is another series I'm in love with.

I recently gave the first 3 books to a new friend and I got a panicked text message asking if i had the next book. hahahaha.

these books are short easy reads. but sooooooo jam packed with information, suspense, and an amazing story each time.

The story of the Morganville Vampires stars Clair Danvers. In the first book she's just a young college student being bullied by the popular girl and desperate to get out of campus living. Soon she realizes that this small campus town has way more going on than anyone would have guessed.

these books are one long story split into several books. There are 9 so far
1) Glass house, 2) Dead girls dance, 3) Midnight Alley, 4) Feast of fools, 5) Lord of Misrule, 6) Carpe Corpus, 7) Fade out, 8) Kiss of death, 9) Ghost town (just released).

I was not aware that Ghost Town was out. So I will be making a trip to borders ASAP! I really enjoy these books probably more than I should.

Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

These books are... interesting. They're about a girl who doesn't know how special she is until she see's something she shouldn't.

These books are about a paranormal protection society. They are around to protect the human race from the demon race.

These books are really really good! I was really impressed. I picked them up on a whim one day at the book store. I judged the book by its cover and boy was I impressed. I had no preconceived notions about these books.

I really enjoyed the story line of these books. They weren't my typical stories I go for. And honestly were the first 'non vampire' book I read in a long time. They sort of broke me out of the vampire only fascination I had going on.

I was surprised to learn that there will be a book 4!! I'm so excited.
Book #4: City of Fallen Angels is due to be released April 5, 2011. The cover won't even be released till December.

I have started a new book (only 1 chapter in, started it last night) called Clockwork Angel, The Infernal Devices Series. It is the same idea as the Mortal instruments series and by the same author. I had to force myself to go to sleep last night. I'm already hooked.

After doing some web research, there are 2 more books due to be released in the the Infernal Devices series.
Clockwork Prince is due September 2011
Clockwork Princess is due November/December 2012

Lover Mine by JR ward
Blackdagger Brotherhood Series

This is another series that I have gotten everyone addicted to!

Remember earlier when we were talking about vampire smut... this is the first place runner for vampire smut.

This series is about a vampire brotherhood who protect the human race against all demons and evil creatures.

I can not say enough amazing things about this series. Seriously! Buy them, Read them, go have hot sex, and love them.

You will want to jump your significant other like you have no idea after reading these books.
Each book follows one of the brothers. They all have the predictable story line. Brother is out fighting, brother finds a love, brother wants love, brother can't be with love, brother fights, brother gets love in the end and has hot vampire sex.
But even though the story line is predictable, the author switches it up enough to make it so you don't want to put the books down.

this is book #8.

Book #9: Lover Unleashed is due to be released March 29th, 2011. Happy late birthday to me!

-----------------------
I am a huge book lover and Love to read. There are so many books on my wish list right now, I think if i print it off amazon its about 10 pages long.

If you have any questions, suggestions or comments let me know!

Enjoy your hot vampire smut!

30 days of Thankful in November

2010-11-20T11:27:00.001-08:00

20. At this moment, I am thankful for the fact that my cough syrup is working for the time being.

19. I am thankful for my amazing bed for which I spent All day in.

18. I am thankful for the road I've taken in life. With out all those speed bumps, detours, and construction I wouldn't be where I am now.

17. I'm thankful my husband is an RN. Because I am seriously way to accident prone to be married to anyone else. ::coughs::

16. Today I am thankful for my amazing puppy Sammy. Sometimes I don't know where I'd be in life with out him.

--------------------------------------------------------------
15. I'm thankful for being home. I'm thankful for being able to spend my night with my husband.

14. I'm thankful for my health. A night in the ER will make someone happy to be alive

13. I'm thankful to be able to spend over 12 hours in Disneyland today.

12. I'm thankful for 0 traffic in my 8 hour drive south to Disneyland. BTW the best time to drive through LA is at 2am.

11. I'm thankful for a dear friend who's no longer in pain. RIP Dale, you will be missed, but im thankful you're in peace.

10.I'm thankful for all the Marines I know! Happy Birthday guys!!!!

9.I'm thankful for my bed. (silly, yes. but i'm exhausted)

8. I'm thankful for having internet!!

7. I'm thankful for the blazers and that i get to watch them from my couch.

6. I'm thankful for Diet Coke. weird... yes, but I love me some Diet Coke

5. I'm truly thankful for my wonderful little puppy Sammy. even when he's stinky he's pretty perfect.

4.I'm thankful for my fellow military members who are currently deployed. I wish I was there with you guys!

3.I'm so thankful for my family. Even though I'm several hundred miles away, I love them ever more.

2. I'm thankful for Amazing friends. Be them near or far.

1.I am amazingly thankful for my husband. There are no words to express how much I love this man. I am so lucky to have him in my life!

Oh how I love

2010-11-17T15:22:00.000-08:00

Random kitchen gadgets! Actually love does not even begin to cover it.

Let me share some of my recent finds.

Mini Cupcake Maker
I would seriously have this running 24/7

Giant Beer Glass
(I'll need 2! one for me and one for B)

Batterfinger Spatula

Homemade Cookie Stamper

Skull Mold

This is awesome, but i'm not sure how easy it would be to flip and keep the shape

PEACE of cake mold

This looks so yummy and interesting!

Cakewich mold

I know a couple of kids (and by that i mean adults) that would LOVE this for a cake

Wine Cork Trivet

I love wine... and I love to cook. This is PERFECT

ABC Cookie cutters
I love these and their sad faces.

And the 1 thing that brought about this whole post
NINJAAAAAAAAAAAAABREADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD MENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

HOW AWESOME ARE THESE!?

30 days of being thankful in November

2010-11-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

15. I'm thankful for being home. I'm thankful for being able to spend my night with my husband.

14. I'm thankful for my health. A night in the ER will make someone happy to be alive

13. I'm thankful to be able to spend over 12 hours in Disneyland today.

12. I'm thankful for 0 traffic in my 8 hour drive south to Disneyland. BTW the best time to drive through LA is at 2am.

11. I'm thankful for a dear friend who's no longer in pain. RIP Dale, you will be missed, but im thankful you're in peace.

10.I'm thankful for all the Marines I know! Happy Birthday guys!!!!

9.I'm thankful for my bed. (silly, yes. but i'm exhausted)

8. I'm thankful for having internet!!

7. I'm thankful for the blazers and that i get to watch them from my couch.

6. I'm thankful for Diet Coke. weird... yes, but I love me some Diet Coke

5. I'm truly thankful for my wonderful little puppy Sammy. even when he's stinky he's pretty perfect.

4.I'm thankful for my fellow military members who are currently deployed. I wish I was there with you guys!

3.I'm so thankful for my family. Even though I'm several hundred miles away, I love them ever more.

2. I'm thankful for Amazing friends. Be them near or far.

1.I am amazingly thankful for my husband. There are no words to express how much I love this man. I am so lucky to have him in my life!

"What did you do to yourself THIS time?"

2010-11-15T15:18:00.001-08:00

So Thursday night I started getting sick.

Friday I was feeling crummy, but not to bad. I drove the whole way down to disneyland. My Sister and Law have had this trip planned for WEEKS. So there was no way I was going to back out.

after a long long long day Saturday I felt like warmed poop. So instead of spending a half day in the park and then driving home. We just decided to go home.

My SIL drove the way home, which is really good. She took me on base, and dropped me off at the hospital. I went up and saw bri working, then went down and admitted myself to the ER.

The doc listened to my lungs and didn't like it.
2 IV drips, and 4 chest scans later.... I'm home.
I'm exhausted
I'm Sore. The med-tech blew the vein in my left arm and I already have a sizable bruise.

I have bronchitis, lyringitis, and viral syndrom.

This is where they put the IV. Also, Not so fun. it hurt so bad.

This is the arm that they blew the vein in. HOLY OUCH btw!!

30 days of being thankful in November

2010-11-01T21:49:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine posted this on FB. I thought it would be nice to keep a list here as well

Day 1) I am amazingly thankful for my husband. There are no words to express how much I love this man. I am so lucky to have him in my life!

As you know

2010-10-20T14:48:00.000-07:00

I've started 2 other blogs.

I have been working really hard at trying to bake something fresh and healthy for B to eat in the morning, and something hearty and warm for him to eat at night when he comes home.

He works 12-14 hour days, its the least I can do.

So I added buttons to the right side of the page. Check it out.!!

The Freebie blog... that ones just for fun! :)

Menu Planning Monday... on a tuesday

2010-10-19T17:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was kind of chaotic, So I had to put off the post till today.

So In addition to my new coupon ~~obsession~~ ~~fascination~~ hobby, I've started doing a weekly menu plan.

I plan the days roughly, but they are interchangeable. say for instance my loving husband who on Sunday didn't have an opinion now has an opinion on say... Wednesday, I can switch it up.

I try and plan 1 day where there can be a 'left over' day, or a day where we can go out. but I do try to make sure that there is a meal planned each day. I also take into account the weather temperature, and if B works or not. I like to have something hearty on the days he works that allows for some left overs for the next day.

So this week I decided on:

Sunday - Tacos - No work
Monday - Crock-pot Salsa Chicken - Works
80* - Tuesday - Zesty Beef Casserole - Works
80* - Wednesday - Chicken & Rice - Works
70* - Thursday - Chicken Noodle Soup - I work he's off - so this my switch
66* - Friday - Turkey meat loaf - I work he's off - so this will switch
72* - Saturday - Stuffed peppers - He works (This was on my meal plan last week, but we didn't make it)

This is the second week I've been doing this. I hope that after I stock up on the 'essentials' I can cut our shopping bill drastically.

I love it.... I love to be in control.

Grocery Shopping Sunday

2010-10-17T19:12:00.001-07:00

So I have been trying to do all my grocery shopping at the beginning of the week.

I had the absolutely WORST experience of all time at Winco today. To the point I called my mom in tears to vent my frustrations. And I can promise you I will NEVER step foot in that Winco ever again.

Apparently the Winco here has a no printed (aka online) coupon policy. I was not aware of this.
So that completely screwed me. All the other stores I've been to accept them, so i wasn't prepared for this.

So I had to put stuff back. non necessities had to go back. It was mostly Pillsbury biscuits and cookie mix

She made me feel like the lowest form of life because I had to put stuff back. I was mortified by how she was treating me

Then she was talking to the checker behind me instead of ringing my stuff up.

Then her and some other worker rolled their eyes and huffed at the amount of stuff I had to go back. She then said. "well... now I have to get an over ride because of all the stuff YOU had me void".

I felt SO embarrassed.

FWD: To Monday...

I called Winco and told them what had happened. I explained my story, why I had to put stuff back, why I was unaware of their policy, etc.

The manager seemed very apologetic and said she would up channel my complaint to her manager.

I will never go back to that Winco EVER again.

Officer's wife

2010-10-11T16:47:00.000-07:00

I know those words together kind of rub enlisted wives raw. but I promise you, this isn't going to be the post your thinking its going to be. So pardon my crudeness, but get the sand out of your who-ha and relax a bit

I grew up in the military. My dad served in the USAF for 33 years. Some of it was active duty, most was reserves. I knew from a young age that if I was physically able, I would join. And by young I mean... I told my parents at 3 or 4 that I wanted to be like daddy. So when I graduated and told them I was joining it was no surprise to them.

I always knew I was going to marry a military man. Its not that there's anything wrong with civilian men, but they just don't get 'it'.

I grew up very differently than most kids. Most kids don't make 90* corners on their beds or learn how to fold their shirts into 4" x 4" squares. This was an every day occurrence in my child hood.

My mother's dad (whom I regretfully never met) was an old marine drill sergeant.
My Father's dad was an old army officer.

I'm 3rd generation military and I am PROUD of it.

My Uncle served in 2 wars
My Dad served in 1 war
My grandfather wouldn't speak of what he went though
My Mom's brother (my other uncle) was in so many wars that he doesn't talk about his military career at all. Somethings are just to tough to talk about. I think that's why he has so many issues with me... but that's a story for another day.

Civilian guys (in my opinion) have a hard time understanding military woman. and the same goes for the other way around. again... i'll reserve that story for another day.

I dated several civilians but it never worked out. I would get deployed, they would cheat. I would get extended, they would get they're thong's in a twist and demand I come home. Same story different person.

But when I imagined my life, I thought I would be married to an enlisted guy. A down and dirty, work for a living, come home stanky, enlisted man. Yes... Yes... I know, all enlisted guys aren't like that. but that's what I pictured.

And I did for the most part. I married an enlisted man.... who became an officer.

Now there's a fine line of fraternization between enlisted and officers. Officer's aren't supposed to hang out with enlisted and visa versa. And forget about dating, that is a bad area you do not want to get into. If its a unit event, or during work hours, its not as bad. but off duty, at a bar... NO GO! Do not pass go, do not collect 200.00. no ma'am.

So I'm kind of in an odd place right now.

I am enlisted. I love my job. I love my people. I love what I do. I work for a living, I work hard, And I work well.

But I'm married to an officer.... WHOA! yeah... an enlisted woman is married to a male officer.

I know its not that big of a deal for him, because I am reserves. but for me. I'm in this odd limbo state.

I can't hang out with the female officers that he works with... unless he's around.
I can't make friends with his friends because of this.
I can make friends with my other enlisted people
but he cant' hang out with only enlisted.

So I'm in this weird place. Its hard to put into the right words... its just weird.

Also, I have this stereotype of Officer's Wives in my head. I picture them as the 'step-ford' wife of the military. and I know that sounds derogatory, but I mean it as a compliment.

I picture officer wives as this picturesque wife. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect clothes, perfect makeup, perfect body, Perfect... I could go on, but i think you get the picture.

So I feel this Drive to be *that* wife. And I think its kind of draining on me.
I don't know how to quite express all the mixed emotions that i have right now. but that is why I have this blog, separate from my other blogs.

This is a place for me to come, vent, and sometimes (more times than not) not make sense.

I really have no where to go with this post
I just really needed to get that out.

Its about to start...

2010-10-09T16:25:00.000-07:00

So B and I have been in this perfect little bubble here.

We only have to talk to family via phone/text/email/snail mail

But at the end of the month B's oldest sister is coming into town. I'm SO excited. And I can say that honesty and un-sarcastically.

I really enjoy his oldest sister, we have similar senses of humor and similar outlooks on life (and the rest of the family). B is a little reserved around her because of their family past, but i can't help it, I heart the girl. And for the reasons that B is reserved, I can't fault either of them. A hard life growing up effects people differently.

She'll be in-town (1 hour away) for some work related things for about a month. I'm hoping that the 3 of us, or maybe even just her and I will get to hang out on the weekends and go out and do things.

Then on the 24th of November my family is driving down for thanksgiving. I'm so so so excited. but also very nervous.

With B's sister, She'll have her own apartment and won't be spending every night with us.

With my family, they can't afford a hotel room. So They're staying here. I'm so excited to see my family, but at the same time, I'm worried.

Just like most people and they're in-laws B can only take my family in SMALL doses. And I get that, I feel the same way about his family... and often my own.

My parents and little brother will be here for 4 days. They drive down the night of the 24th and then leave the afternoon of the 28th.

I'm really excited that there will be people here, I LOVE to entertain. I can't wait for people to be here.

I don't forsee B's dad being very far behind my parents (maybe even before) in the come to visit line.

I love love love love love B's dad. He's a funny, down to earth, OCD man after my own heart.
I really hope he comes down to visit OFTEN.

he's all alone up there. B's dad and mom got divorced when B was pretty young. And B's grandpa died shortly after we got together. B's dad also doesn't talk to his sister much at all, so its just him and his select few friends.

I hope he can come down. I'd LOVE to have him here for thanksgiving. That would be awesome!

Hotel De' Rotty is officially open for business i guess.

Friday Fill-Ins... on a saturday

2010-10-09T16:11:00.000-07:00

1. My favorite month is December because I love warm sweaters, fall boots, warm coffee and tea, and my ultimate favorite BAKING.

2. I love the smell of a fresh breeze.

3. I love to sniff post its (yeah, i know i'm weird).

4. Breakfast Burritos is what I like to have as a treat for breakfast.

5. The hobby I enjoy most is blogging (at the moment)!

6. I am part of 7 blogs... oh my!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to looking up recipies and planning meals for this week, tomorrow my plans include grocery shopping and Monday, I want to work on the back yard!

I love Friday Fill Ins

I may be in love with this

2010-10-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

Journey - Don t Stop Believin Boyce Avenue piano acoustic cover

I know it doesn't fit the screen, but oh the voice.
I love this song.

I had to share it with you all.

I told you so

2010-10-07T17:11:00.000-07:00

So I've really been getting into this whole couponing and freebie business. I've been scoping out a lot of sites and really doing my research.

I EVEN made a coupon BINDER! **collective gasp in awe**

So a couple days ago I posted a bunch of freebie stuff on my facebook page. I guess it clogged a couple of my friends reader board, and I got some complaints.

So I decided to start a coupon and freebie blog for my friends and family.

I thought that I would share what I found with the rest of my friends and family. I thought, If i like this, they'll like this.

and so

Rotty's Freebie & Coupon blog was born.

I'm having a lot of fun doing it. I'm really not doing it at the moment to put all the deals in the world up there.

I just spend a lot of time going through the blogs and feeders for freebies and coupons that I would use, So why not share them.

and now they can see them all in one place instead of a bunch of links on my face book page.

Its the small things in life...

2010-10-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

So B and I both have our own offices now. We'll be in the same house, just feet apart and spend hours by ourselves. Me with my design work, pictures, coupons, blogs, facebook. Him with his NBA2K10, His FPS games, his research, and NBA draft picks.

But just now I was sitting here getting my fix of crack (aka frontierville and farmville) and he came in and pullled my chair back a bit kissed me on the forehead and asked If I wanted to go watch Ghost Hunters on OnDemand with him after his game.

I of course said yes!
But It kinda made me tear up.
Its the little things in life that really make my heart swell.

Friday Fill Ins

2010-10-01T14:29:00.000-07:00

Time for some Friday Fill Ins.... then I HAVE to get the cabinet together that I just bought for a steal at target!

1. My back... Is feeling pretty good today.

2. getting into this whole couponing thing is getting pretty wild.

3. Leaves are falling all around, is something I miss about home.

4. I hope I can overcome forgetfulness.

5. Healing is being strong enough to over come.

6. unpacking and organizing is what I've been up to lately!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to having drill with my new unit, tomorrow my plans include working and getting in processed and Sunday, I want to sleep... but I have drill!

Lets talk about Couponing

2010-09-30T17:39:00.000-07:00

first is that really a word? because I'm pretty sure its a made up word. but I digress, Lets all have a conversation about coupons.

When we were back home in Oregon I was an avid coupon cutter and a less than half time coupon user.

I had an epic fail of coupon usage. I would either not pay attention to the adds, forget the cupons at home, or just get lazy.

but now that we're getting settled and getting our house together. I really want to buckle down and get our bills under control. The price difference in groceries alone between Oregon and California is AMAZING! my quick 20.00 - 30.00 grocery trip back home is now a 50.00 - 60.00 trip here. Of course it also has a lot to do with the fact that we lost a lot of our 'essentials' in the move, so we're slowly building that back up. But with me not working at the moment I really feel like its mostly my responsibility for the cooking, cleaning, and shopping of the house.

B did not put this on me (hello Suzy Homemaker), I need something to do, so i'm making this my thing.

So I asked a couple of people about it and A good friend of mine Carly @ Not Your Ordinary Page turned me onto a site called Hip2Save.

She linked me to a page on H2S Titled Couponing 101. I watched the video's and really got into it. I'm really excited.

Today I went out and got the dividers, a binder, and those baseball card holders.

I got to thinking about everyone else. What do they do for coupons? Does anyone else kind of obsess over them like i do?

If you do coupon, Do you use your Sunday paper only? or do you use websites as well?

What is the method to your madness?

What are your tricks and tips to help out a n00b like me?

I have a feeling this topic will become a running trend in my blog in the near future.

after I get this sorted out my next hill to climb is Meal Planning!

Memory Lane

2010-09-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here taking off the insignia from my old uniform, so that we can donate them. And I can't help but think about the last time I word this uniform. This is 2 ranks and 5 years ago. Its crazy to think about how different my life is right now.

The last time I wore this uniform It was winter 2005. I had just come home from basic training and was "full of piss and vinegar" like my grandma likes to say. I was in love with the military and everything about it. I wanted to go faster, do more, and do it better. I also had NO idea about the world and how to conduct myself in it.

The last time I wore this uniform, I was a young young 19 year old girl. I say girl, because thats what I was. I had recently broken off an engagement, which come to find out was the best decision I'd made thus far in my life (second only to joining the military). I was now dating some loser that I met through some friends who wanted to do nothing more than play halo and smoke weed with his friends. I of course was doe-y eyed in love with him and sat behind him while he played his games, and stood down wind when they were smoking.

The last time I wore this uniform I was on my way to what I would consider the turning point in my young life. I was on my way to spend 7 months in California on orders (coincidentally the same base I'm at now). This was the first time I would branch out on my own. I was getting paid more than I had ever made before... not a hard thing to top mind you. I was in a hotel by myself with MAID service. And all I had to do was show up 4 days a week, work 12 hours, and then I was free.

The last time I wore this uniform:
I was single,
I was young,
I was wild wild wild,
I was emotional,
I was careless,
I was neurotic,
I was chaotic,
I was in love with love,
I was in lust with anyone who lusted after me,
I was in like with all male figures,
I had my first taste of alcohol,
I had my first hang over,
I had my first drunk dialing experience, which BTW was to my mom who told me to eat a loaf of bread to sober up
I had my first pregnancy scare
I had a reputation for my crazy and wild behavior
I was so prone to anxiety
I had huge ideals for the world
I was silly
I was fun
I would spend money like it was going out of style
I was so skinny
I was soooooooooooo many things both good and bad

I'm glad I took the time to sit back and remember these memories. I'm glad they're in the past but i regret none of them. The person who was in this uniform made me who I am today. With out that crazy girl, I wouldn't be the woman I am today.

And while 19 to 24 to some people doesn't seem like that big of a gap.... man oh man does it feel like it.

Who wants to see the new house?!?

2010-09-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

So I thought I'd lighten the mood a bit. Seems like everyone I know is down a bit today. So I didn't want to distract with to much more. So I thought I'd post some house pictures. Nice and Neutral. lol.

These photos are all the ones I took with my cell phone the day we came to sign the lease. We've been in the house a little over a week. Once we get settled I'll post better pictures.

This is the front of the house

This is looking in the front door (you're looking into the living room)

This is the living room

This is the dining & kitchen area (looking left from the entry way)

This is the chalkboard on the back of the kitchen cabinets

This is the family room (looking from the kitchen out into the back yard)

this is the master bedroom.
the previous tenants (aka the owners niece) had a 'beach' themed bedroom

Master bathroom

Guest room #1 - AKA B's office

Guest room #2 - AKA my office
The previous tenants had twin little girls
This WILL be repainted

Guest bathroom
ugly purple color
apparently the previous tenants LOVED the whole faux-chair rail look
::gags quietly to self::

This is the back yard
(stepping out from the slider and looking right)

my orange tree on the far right side of the house.

random tree with a random deck attached
there used to be a 'tree house' here i guess.

this is standing at the far fence looking at the back yard

and my lovely pomegranate tree that is overflowing from the neighbors yard
There's one in the front too.
SCORE!

Sometimes life just doesn't make sense

2010-09-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

I will warn you this post will probably be a very sad one, and I apologize in advance that I haven't posted in a bit.

A bunch of us found out today that a friend lost a 2nd child to premature labor.

I'm a firm believer in God. I believe in the power of the holy spirit and in god's amazing grace. But sometimes... sometimes the divine plan just doesn't make sense.

My heart aches right now and Its honestly hard to put into words exactly what I'm feeling.

I met S online. I've talked about BOTB before, and that's where we 'met'. I've been talking to her and a lot of others for YEARS! I've met several of the woman in person before and consider them some of my dearest friends. I even was invited (and attended lol) one of their kids birthday parties. As well as making 'baby's here' cupcakes for another woman. These aren't just people online. These are my friends.

And now that this has happened... again. I just don't know what to say.

Katie Jane - She entered the world, blessed us all with her beauty love and life and then exited the world on 8.15.09.

Matthew Finley - Entered the world and exited this life on 09.26.10. He has blessed us all who had the pleasure of knowing him through his mother. I'm honored to have been in the group of people who have been in the light of his life.

I just can't imagine.
I have no words
My words are all lifted up.

I love you S.

The more things change, The more they stay the same

2010-09-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

So I was reminded today about the circle of life in the world of the military.

A fellow blogger Chelle @ The Winey Mommy said good bye to her husband today. She sent him off to serve his country and do is duty. It breaks my heart and makes me thank the lord, that at the moment I have my husband.

Its kind of interesting, like the world wanted me to realize how lucky I was. I happen to log on to blogger minutes after she had posted on her blog about saying good bye.

I had been complaining to my friends via texts that i was trying to 'sweat my way to a better mood' in the gym. I was upset with B about something really really really stupid and petty this morning. I left the gym still feeling cruddy and now I felt cruddy and sore. When I logged on and saw her post I got out of that mood pretty darn quick. Nothing snaps you out of a cruddy mood here faster than seeing a fellow military wife lose half her heart.

And I also fine it at no coincidence that today is also the 9th anniversary of 9/11. Sometimes its easy to lose focus on what is important in life and what you should be thankful for. But today... today I was reminded of how lucky I am. I hope on a day like today, that has forever changed many lives, I hope you all stay thankful.

I hope you all hug your loved ones a little more securely tonight.
I hope you all thank the lord for the breath you take and the kisses you get.
I hope you all are snuggled down with the loved ones you have (may they be 2 legged or 4)
I hope you all remember
I hope you all stay thankful.

Road Trippin!

2010-09-10T18:45:00.000-07:00

I would like to preface this post with:
1) yes I know its illegal to text/talk on the phone and drive
2) yes I know its dangerous
3) yes I know its a bad habit.

there. are we good now? okay then.

So On my trip down I decided to chronicle my trip with a photo every hour.
I sent them to my best friends so that they could feel included.

0830 - Just outside Westlinn, OR (aprox. 30 min. on the road)

0930 - Somewhere between Salem & Eugene, OR

1030 - NO IDEA where the heck I am. The last sign said Drain, OR

1130 - Just south of Roseburg, OR

1230 - Just North of Grants Pass, OR
(this is also RIGHT before I locked by keys in the car at the random rest stop)

1330 - First Look At California!!!!

1430 - Just outside of Redding, CA

1530 - Lake Shasta, CA

1630 - NO idea where I am, I just know that I'm getting close

1745 - FINALLY on base!!!!!

I have a couple more pictures that I will post later.
These are all cell phone pics so there not the best quality. But they do the job!!!

Updated

2010-09-09T17:51:00.000-07:00

The Fit Rotty Blog has been updated

Along with the minor weight loss. I have some other good news!!!

WE GOT A HOUSE... hopefully.

They're drafting up our lease as we speak

The details....
The blurb:

This 3 bedroom 2 bath is move in ready as of September 1st. The property is located in a great school district. An elementary school is located within walking distance and a local park is just minutes away. This home is also tucked near the back of a court which insures little to no traffic.
Inside you will find upgrades throughout the home. Wall to wall carpet, new energy saving windows, a new dishwasher, refrigerator, and an alarm system, just to name a few. The backyard has a patio cover and multiple fruit bearing trees. In fact the yard is worry free, due to front and back timed sprinklers and professional landscaping included. Garbage is also included in the rent.

Stories:1

Bedrooms / Baths:3 / 2

Estimated Unit Size: 1,334 Sq Feet (124 Sq Meters)

Parking: Garage, 2 Spaces : $0

Furnished:No

Year Built:1976

it has refrigerator, dishwasher, washer & dryer, central Air & heat, carbon monoxide detector, amazing back yard, alarm, and ceiling fans.

This is the 1st house we saw. We got to meet the landlord and the rental agent. The landlord is a really nice old lady. This is her first rental property. She's so so sweet.

The rental agent is kind of a nerdy/nervous person. I've dealt with a lot of rental agencies in Portland. and he just seemed nervous and really REALLY green, but eager

Long Time No Post

2010-09-05T18:52:00.000-07:00

So the big moved got pushed up.

I'm currently sitting in California!!!!!!

We not only got out moved pushed up over a week. but they did a pack AND move in 1 day (14 hours mind you!)

It was a chaotic hecktic week to say the least.

30th - monday- got back from family vacation. I spent time with my little brother and mom at my aunts lake house. My dad was in southern california officiating a wedding for my cousin.

31st - Tuesday - Architectural Graphics final presentation

1st - Wednesday - Packers come. find out today that they're packing and moving TODAY. In one day (instead of three days). Made a bunch of phone calls, changed reservations, called relatives and informed everyone about the change in dates and moved my drive from saturday to friday.

2nd - Thursday - finished all the last minute stuff. emailed my final project to my teacher for Computer Drafting class. hung out with BFF A and awesome godson Dom. Treated B's awesome dad to lunch and he helped me pick out a GPS system.

3rd - Friday - Left for cali - I meant to leave at 7 am. I went to my parents house to say goodbye one last time and then when I went to drive off, my mom saw a fresh spill of oil and told me to come back. Come to find out, when i had my car serviced (on tuesday btw) they cracked the o-ring on my oil filter. I went to the shop and sat there. they opened at 8am. one of the guys showed up at 7:20 to open. He asked how I was doing, and I told him what was going on. He said he'd open it up right quick, clear out a bay, and get me in. I was in the shop and out in less than 10 min. In the mean time my mom brought me starbucks and breakfast (lord love her). I was on the road by 8am and on the freeway by 830.

At the half way mark I stopped at a rest stop to let sammy out of the car to stretch, pee, etc. and..... I locked my keys in my car. I called our insurance people and wouldn't you know it, we had emergency roadside assistance. I didn't know that. The insurance guy had to call a sister agency down where I was, and get a recommendation on a shop to come help me. The guy showed up in 20 min and I was on the road in less than 45 min. I made it down here by 5:45. I got checked into our room and was crashed out at 9:30. it was a long day. driving for 10 hours takes a lot out of you.

4th - Saturday - I picked up my AWESOME husband at the airport!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after 5 months apart he was a sight for sore eyes. It was an amazing feeling. It was the first time I had been the one waiting at the Airport. Normally, I'm the one on the plane. I didn't realize I would be that nervous. I was texting a fellow military wife, she told me it was normal. Weird feeling though.

but I'm here, we're here. We're safe and sound.

I'll post more later. but i'll let you all digest the week i just had. I know i need to digest it too.

Wow, how time flys

2010-08-13T22:35:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously amazed at how fast time is going right now. Less than a month before the Big Move. I'm really excited and nervous all at the same time.

Monday I have the Mover Coordinator coming by at 9am. (ugh). Then I need to talk to my dad and see whats going on with the drive down.

So.... here's the situation. I really really REALLY want to drive down by myself. its only 10 hours (via mapquest). I've done it with my dad before, only reverse, and we made it in 8.5.

But my parents want one of them to go with me and fly home.

B was on my side about this until recently. He thinks that I need to take our camping gear (inflatable bed) down with me so that when we get a place, we can go right in and not have to wait for our stuff.

He's afraid that all the stuff we won't allow the movers to take won't all fit in my car.
But i'm hoping it will.

So I have a Saturn Ion. here's what i'm taking with me on the drive
1) My hope chest
2) The filing cabinet
3) Both computers & my laptop
4) Camping gear
5) Clothes
6) Sammy

I really think I can fit all this in my car and drive down.

Who knows. I'm such a daddy's girl. I really really want to do this for me and my marriage. But on the flip side, I feel like I need to allow this to happen for my dad. I think he's having trouble letting me go. He's really been reaching out to me lately. I love him.

Its hard to decide.

Goodbyes & Beerflu

2010-08-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

This weekend was my last drill with my unit up here. It was a bittersweet weekend. I couldn't come up with a more accurate word.

I'm so sad to leave the great friends and bonds I've formed over the years I've been up there.
Yet, I'm so excited for the next step in my life.

(right after we got home)

I have so many good friends up there. We deployed together, we went to annual tour together, we hung out. Its going to be hard to top this unit.

(waiting to get out of country)

(in Shannon, Ireland)

They took me out Saturday night.
We went to a local bar that I've been going to every drill since we moved up to the new base. I've gotten to become really close with the bartenders there. We even became Facebook friends (lol). I didn't pay for a single thing all night. They were amazing. When I finally left, I cried and gave them both big hugs. When your away from home, its nice to have a friendly face. They were great people.

Then came Sunday
I had a serious case of Beerflu Sunday morning.
I woke up Sunday... still drunk
I went back to sleep for an hour... still drunk
I took a shower to sober up... nope still drunk
I threw up...a lot... still drunk
I had my friend drive me on base... still drunk.

soooooooooooooooooo bad.

about 10 am I finally sobered up, and I totally skipped the hangover phase. I went from drunk, to a wee bit sick, to sober. It was AWESOME.

I'm pretty sad to leave, but I'm really excited.
Its all coming together. Its all wrapping up.

Oh for the love of pup's

2010-08-05T22:32:00.000-07:00

Oh what a day I had. I've had some rough days since B left. But none (in my opinion) was more tasking than today.

This morning I wake up (before my alarm mind you) to my poor baby whimpering and whining. So I call for him to get up on the bed. I still have my eyes closed because I have another 10 min before my alarm goes off. I love my sleep, if I don't have to open my eyes, its not happening. My poor little guy tried to get up on the bed 4 times, before he jumped, failed, and yelps in pain. :(

So I pick him up, I talk to him (yeah, I'm pet that owner), and he was so sad looking.
I had a class today, which I had planned on skipping to take Sammy to the vet. But when I looked up the class calendar I saw I had a quiz. Well... fuck. I can't leave him alone. And I can't miss my class.

whats a girl to do!?! I call and wake up my daddy. hahahahahaha.

I told him what was going on and asked if he could watch SamJam for me. Of course he says yes.
On my way to campus, I called and made him an appointment at the vet @1230.

I went to class, took my quiz, and ducked out early to go pick up Sammy. When I got to my parents house he was just fine. my dad made him jump onto the Life-Force-Stealing Chair, and he was fine(this is when I think he over did it) but i took my dad's advice and called the vet and canceled my appointment.

I took him home. I let him down and out of the car, let him walk in the grass... then it became time to climb the stairs to our apartment. he made it about 2 steps before he stopped and cried.
So I carried him upstairs called the vet back, and told them I was bringing him in.

1230 rolls around and I take him in. I'm sitting in the vet room, and reading. Sam's curled up in my lap. The vet comes in and checks him out, there is seriously nothing physically wrong with him. I could have told you that (and i did tell her that). I looked him over, poked, pushed, prodded him before I even left for class. We talked over the options, and with her suggestions and the fact that I have drill this weekend, I decided to hand Sams over to her and let her do her tests.

4 hours later, I go to pick him up and talk to her about the results. It all looked "pretty normal" to use her words. He had "crystals" in his UA slides. And was walking normal. his blood work is normal.

Her diagnosis is that he's having some back issues. Which is really REALLY common in doxies.

So now he's on anti-inflammatory pills and is on strict kennel only instructions all weekends. I called my dad (they're babysitting him while I have drill) and told him to put up "The Cage". its a larger kennel that used to hold both my dad's doxies (with room to spare). I'll have to take pictures of him when I drop him off. Its a lot of room for him to walk around in. Yet, not enough space to hurt himself.

the vet said no: running, jumping, climbing, rough housing with other dog, no playing, no going up or down stairs, etc. Basically he's grounded to his kennel other than when my dad takes him out (carries him) to go potty.

Hopefully he's better when i get home Sunday night. everyone say a puppy prayer today.

And the packing begins

2010-08-04T23:21:00.000-07:00

Today my Ma and I went to Hades (aka Walmart). I spent $103 and some cents on Rubbermaid containers. I got 2 humongous containers (1 for my shoes lol), and 4 large containers. Then I got 2 smaller ones. 1 for my spices and 1 for all of Sammy's gear.

Tonight I felt like I really needed to get something done. I needed to start something, pack something, do something. So, I started with my shoes. I should have taken a before picture of the shoe rack we had in my apartment.

Let me break this down for you all. I seriously live in a 560 sq.ft. apartment and I have a LOT of shoes. You do the math. Small apartment + lots of shoes = ....... ::waits for responses::

yep, that's right folks. I had a HUMONGO shoe rack.

Because I have a slight (read: insanely huge) problem with OCD, I wrapped each pair in a plastic garbage sack. See, I recycle. I got about 70% of them wrapped and packed. I would have packed 90% of my shoes, but I ran out of sacks. I'm glad I got the large Rubbermaid container (with wheels) because it was HEAVY! My plan is to wrap and pack all shoes except for my work out sneakers and flip flops. I live in flip flops in the summer. If I could, I'd be barefoot all day everyday.

(this is Mariah Carey's Closet... that lucky whore)

So that brought an end to that. I FB'd my mom and asked her to round up all her sacks, so i can finish. After I ran out, I took down the shoe rack. I asked B if he thought we should keep it, he said no. But its still in really good condition, So i took it a part, wrapped it up, and put it in the shoe box.

This is becoming all the more real.
I can't wait!
If I could totally be a professional mover.... on second thought. Maybe not.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

2010-08-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

It has been roughly 70 days since I said "See You Later" to my amazing husband!
I have approximately 40 days until I get to see him again. WHOA Dude.

Sometimes I miss him more than I thought was physically possible. But I know that there are a lot of other woman out there going through the same thing, been through the same thing, and have been apart much much MUCH longer than this. I pull from their strength to get through this.

I have seriously so much to do before we see each other.
Oh for the love of the military wives everywhere. hahaha.

I get to:

Pack up our entire apartment
Get all the move paperwork done
Supervise the packer
Supervise the movers
Get the car weighed empty
Pack all the 'non-ship' stuff in my little bitty car
Pack my stuff
Get the car weighed full
Pack the pupster & me in the car and drive the 10 hours down to where he'll be.

I CAN'T WAIT!

I really feel like this drive will be the next chapter of our lives. Its definably the start of the next chapter of my life. I am so excited.

My parents keep trying to convince me that I need to let one of them drive down with me. To be honest, I really want to do this step alone. I may be young to some, but I've lived the life people 2x my age could only dream of. I need to do this for ME. I need to do this for me ALONE! Bless their hearts for worrying about me, but this is something I need to do on my own.

Holy Ouch

2010-08-02T23:55:00.000-07:00

So the spot on my leg is healing nicely. I over did it on Saturday, but its closing and healing perfectly.

But.... holy band aid burn. owie.

Because of the sensitive area its in, there's a very limited amount of 'arrangements' you can place a band aid.

Tonight i saw that it had closed up enough to switch to a smaller size.

TMI:
.
.
.
.
.
.
I actually peeled up a piece of skin along with the band aid.

I need a band aid for the spot that i had a bandaid. hahahahaaha.

I have NO Idea how I'm going to be able to wear pants tomorrow. jeebus....
I'm going to have to wear my ultra fat pants tomorrow.

Not fun my friends, not fun at all..

Tiny Health Scare

2010-07-30T00:36:00.000-07:00

So this week was 'That appointment'. The one appointment every year that woman dread.

Since my doctor was already going down south, I decided to talk to her about this mole I had on my upper inner thigh. Think right where your inner thigh, butt cheek, and groin all meet.

We have a lot of cancer in my family. Most recently my Great Uncle (mom's uncle) died of complications from lung cancer. My Grandmother (mom's mom) has non-severe skin cancer. She gets 'chunks' of skin removed every 4-6 months.

so needless to say I'm very aware. I check my moles, I check my breasts, etc.

I brought this to her attention was strange for 2 reasons:
1) It had developed in less than a year
2) It extended past the normal skin layer.

After the normal pap, she took a closer look at the mole.

She decided to remove it so she could send it in for testing.

Nothing says "have a good day" like an anesthesia shot to the vagina at 8 am.

hahahaha.

No it wasn't actually on my vagina, but a lot closer to it than I ever wanted.

I don't think I've ever said "fuck" that loud in my whole life. I apologized and then kept my fucks to an inside voice.

The 1st shot hurt soooooooooooo bad (10 out of 10). the 2ND one hurt, but not as bad (7 out of 10). The 3rd shot wasn't bad, just a little pinch (2 out of 10).

I told her to tell me when she was done, because I didn't want to look.
I was really proud, I didn't cry at all.
I got teary eyed with the anticipation, but during the actual procedure - no tears (but lots of "fucks")
B thinks I 'passed out' and don't remember crying. He doesn't think its believable that I didn't cry.

So I'm a little worried, just because it developed so quickly. But I trust my doctor when she says don't worry about it. She IS sending it in, just in case, but she seriously doubts its anything.

So I currently have a rather large bandage in a very inconvenient spot.
Tonight is the first time I changed the bandage (I put it off a little long). I was finally able to see what it looked like.

I have a 1/4" circle chunk of skin missing. because of the angle, I can't see how deep it is. The doctor said i have to keep it covered and dry until it "fills in" so I think it might be a bit deeper than I expected.

for what its worth, i think after this i can get a wax NO PROBLEM!

And if one door opens to another door closed

2010-07-29T23:38:00.000-07:00

I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

_______________________________________________

I was talking to an old friend today who's boyfriend is currently deployed.

And we were talking about how we haven't hung out in years and the fact that we need to reconnect.

I said to her "Sometimes life guides paths together". I just really think this statement is so true for me lately

And lately I've really found that god was looking down on me and saw I was in need of a friend who just 'got it' and blessed me with my new friend/old acquaintance J.

So here's a little back ground:

J and I went to Middle School and High School together (graduated the same year). We had the same friends, and often were at the same events together (dances, games, etc.). Even though we knew each other we weren't "friends". We were acquaintances. I didn't dislike her for any reason, but there just never came a time where our life paths met at a time for us to talk.

So fast forward several years....

B and I stop by a local bar to drop of his friend. J and her Husband JT were there. B and JT went to high school together and graduated the same year too. So we're talking and BS'ing and exchange numbers. We text a little bit, but nothing ever comes of it.

Fast forward another couple years...

We've been Facebook friends for this whole time and just never really talked. One day I see she posted that she needs some adult interaction. J and JT have a 4 year old Em. JT is gearing up to deploy here in the near future, so J quit her no good job to spend time with him. So we arrange an 'adult day'. We didn't do anything but hang out on her patio, but we just clicked.

I honestly feel that god guided our life paths together right at the right time. I mean, of course he did. Everyone (even the most devout believer) has a moment in their life where they question where God is leading them. This just feels right.

Its good to have a friend who was in the military (medically discharged), who's married to the military (JT's about to set out on his second tour), and someone who just 'gets it'.

I can look at her and just stick out my lip, and all that she says is "I know Hun!"

As JT's D-Day (deployment day) creeps up closer and closer she's more and more emotional. and it just feels good to be here for her. She texted me tonight and said she was sorry in advance for not being a 'very good friend' in the near future because she's going to spend time with JT.

I told her do NOT worry about it. I'll be there for her and we'll hang once JT can't anymore. And

I told her a while ago that I fully plan on being there for her when he's gone. I'll cook her food, make sure she eats, and take care of EM until she can.

I'm blessed.

I went through some rough times when B left. Took me a while to get my mind right.

I feel that now that I'm mentally healthy and squared away, god has blessed me with a good friend to keep me that way.

I've always been a firm believer that you can't be good in any relationship that has love (friends, family, marriages) until you are good and love yourself first.

God waited till the perfect time to bring my path and J's path together.

I don't know what I would do with out her right now.

hahahaha. its been less than a month since we've become so close and if we go more than 24 hours, we tell each other we're going through withdrawls. hahahaha. I went over to her house today for just an hour or so. That way we could get our 'fix'. we're a little to perfect for each other, its kind of scary.

Lets talk about books

2010-07-28T17:53:00.000-07:00

I love books. I really do. I could curl in a ball and read a book in a comfy chair and stay there till my feet fall asleep and probably longer until i got to a good 'stopping point'.

But I think we've all had those books, that are just so slow that they are hard to get through.

I'm talking mostly about:

Each book has 2-3 stories in them.

In #1. the first and second story i soared through, but then the third.... drug on and on and on.
But I made it through.

I decided to give the #2 a chance. Again the first part was really really good. But i'm currently toward the end of the 2nd story and I can't make it more than 5 pages before I have to put it down.

The story line is interesting. I keep wanting to read it to see what happens. but each page is hard to get through. I don't know how its possible, but it is.

I'm used to books that I just couldn't put down.

At what point do you give up on a book?
My mom couldn't finish #1. She gave it back to me. lol.

Friday Fill Ins

2010-07-08T20:54:00.000-07:00

Haven't done this one in a while

1. Layers of Dishes are in my sink.

2. The thought of being with him is almost insight.

3. I'd be willing to bet that my mother comments on how messy my house is tomorrow

4. EVERYTHING scares the dog.

5. I'm fond of lemonade and vodka

6. I miss him too much!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Getting out of the house, tomorrow my plans include driving to drill and Sunday, I want to go see the new twilight with a friend!

Sewing Project #2

2010-07-05T22:56:00.000-07:00

After a rough week. i decided i needed a project.

I'm going to make a skirt.

I got a pattern, fabric, new thread, a ZIPPER, and an eye hook. omgsh. i'm so excited!

I'm making the yellow one.

I'm using a pink and white pokadot fabrick. i'm really really excited!!!!
Wish me luck!

who wants to play... guess the injury?

2010-07-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

yep, thats right. I'm rocking the face bandaid.

whats your guess?

3 years ago today

2010-06-30T22:12:00.000-07:00

...I married the love of my life

... I said "I do" to growing old with my best friend

... I became blessed by being married to an amazing man

... I became more happy and whole. He's my missing piece.

I love him with all my heart and soul.

_________________________________________________

OH the joys of being married and both being in the military.

I came home from my first duty location June 06 and met B.

we started dating and then I left for Germany in November.

December I was home and he asked me to marry him.

January I left for military school in Missouri.

March 07 I came home on my birthday. Our families meet the DAY i came home.

June 07 we were married. B starts nursing school that next September.

Jan 09 I was deployed during his last term of school & I missed his graduation.

we were together for a year, with a couple mini breaks for B to go help another unit in... Mississippi i think.

and a year almost to the day that i came home and he leaves for almost as long.

I missed his graduation from officer school because we couldn't afford for me to fly down.

lol.

I've spent 2 birthday's home since i was 18.

And now i spend tonight, my third anniversary, alone in my bed... with the dog. UGH!

but that's okay... Its the life I chose.

I've never been more solid. I've never been this happy. I'm blessed

Sleep Deprived Blogging

2010-06-29T00:09:00.000-07:00

(preblog warning: its not labeled "random ramblings" for nothing)

I'm sure this is the new "it" thing. Sort of like blogging while sleep deprived is the new black. lol, or at least that's what I'll tell myself.

Hey, blogging is better than laying in bed at 12:10am talking to myself right?....right?
::whispers to self:: "RIGHT!"

PHEW! good to know.

anywhozer...

So last week I started back to school. I seriously forgot how hard summer term is. Its my first term back in almost 2 years, that's enough time for one to forget.

I'm taking 3 in class and 1 online.
I'm taking (brace yourselves for this)

Architecture 101 - Architectural Graphics
Art 101 - The History of Art (which actually focuses more on the history of architecture)<-online
Art 215 - The History of Residential American Architecture
ID 125 - Computer Drafting for Interior Designers.

yeah, i know... you're jealous. ::cough-NOT-cough::

But seriously. on Tuesday I'm in class 9am-2pm & 6-8pm. and on Thursday I'm in class 9am-1pm & 6-8pm.

All in all, not as bad of a schedule as I expected. I have a long enough break that i can justify driving the 30 min back home. For some reason the campus just seethes anxiety for me. I get anxious just being on campus, why? couldn't tell you. but i do. If I'm IN class, like, actively taking notes, participating in discussions, etc. it doesn't effect me so much. Walking from my class room to the student center to get a smoothie... INSTANT anxiety spike. wish i knew why. no idea.

But last week wasn't so bad all in all. Hard to get used to getting up early again (time is currently 12:18am) but I'm getting back into it (sort of).

Most of my classes I really think I'm going to enjoy. the only one I'm a little worried about is ID 125, because I've taken something really really similar before, so i think I'm going to get bored easily. The teacher seems really cool though, so it should be okay. I'm my Art 215 class, part of my homework was to sketch where i live. You mean you WANT me to doodle? okay then. no problem! lol. so i let Sammy wander in the grass, i sat on the sidewalk enjoying the cool air and sketched. it was pretty awesome.
------------------------------------------------
this weekend I had drill for the first time in 6 weeks. This whole A weekend/B weekend thing is screwy. One month I'll have 2 drills with in 2 weeks, and then i won't have one for 6 weeks... not so fun.

But this weekend I did have to do my PT (physical training) Test. And I'm a little ashamed to say, it was a "do or die" situation. If i didn't pass, i couldn't re-enlist. and if you know anything about me... not re-enlisting was NOT an option. but I've been training hard and pushing myself and you want to know what. I DID IT! I passed more than i could have imagined. I'm so stinking proud of myself!!!

we won't go into weight or inches (cause ick)
but I did do:
35 push ups in 1 min
42 sit ups in 1 min
and i ran 1.5 miles in 13.28.

HOLY SHIT! It was AWESOME. I almost threw up after my run. but whats a little upchuck between me and uncle Sam? And let me tell you what a weight it is off my shoulders that I've passed.

now the battle is keeping it up and pushing my self to do it next time with OUT DYING! lol. I'm in so much pain today. We ran yesterday at 2ish. and just sitting down to pee is an epic battle of muscle vs gravity. Its a good thing all i had to do today was study. so i sat around a lot. my body is thankful for that.

[random sidebar] the thing i hate about being up this late is i always get munchy hungry around 12:30-1:00am. never.fails. [/end random side bar]

But all in all it was a good weekend/week.

back to school
Feeling good about classes
went to drill
trained 35 marines how to do my job
got called out by a E7 in a different section to help him do a job (way cool)
passed my PT test
drove home safely
mom made me dinner (she watches Sammy when I'm at drill)
she even made an extra whole dish for me to take home so i didn't have to cook ALL WEEK!

I have to say, I'm a pretty happy camper right about now.

now... if only i could get some sleep.
::makes eyes at Mr.sandman::

Random Ramblings turns slightly insane.

2010-06-21T20:56:00.000-07:00

So, Rotty, now that you have all this time on your hands what are you doing?

Oh funny you should ask. I’ve kept myself busy
1) I started sewing
2) I’ve cleaned a lot
3) Lots of organizing
4) Oh and I’ve developed this nasty little habit of talking to myself

Hahaha!

So tonight wasn’t so good, I had a lot of issues. I’ve been really sad with B being gone. So I do what has become one of my favorite things to do when I’m stressed, sad, or upset.
I turn on the shower (extra warm) and sit. I sit in the bottom of the shower, close the shower curtain and hang out.

There is nothing more relaxing to me than sitting in the shower, letting the warm water beat down on me and think.

So I’m sitting there in the shower, and I’m thinking. And I’m thinking, and I’m thinking.

So I decide to talk out loud. Maybe it was like a prayer out loud (just talking to god… naked), maybe I was talking to Sammy (who was sleeping on the bath mat), or maybe I’m slowly spiraling into a quiet insanity. Either way….

I know that I’m being a whiney crying brat. But its how I’m feeling. I’m having issues with B being gone. It’s weird, very weird. I’ve decided I like being the one deployed MUCH more.
It’s just so different with him gone. The one constant since I came home is B. He’s always been home. Always been here for me, and now he’s not. Now he’s the one who’s gone, and it’s hard to get used to.

Tomorrow I start my first day back to school in almost 2 years. And there will be no one here to say ‘good luck’, or ‘good bye’, or ‘you can do it’.

The fact that B’s in the field right now doesn’t help any. I know that while he’s been gone to this school I’ve been so spoiled. He’s been able to communicate with me almost every day. I know

I’m going to have to get used to this, but right now. It sucks. HARD CORE.

Sorry that this is so rambly and whiney. But I just needed to get it out.

First Sewing Project = DONE & AWESOME

2010-06-20T15:28:00.000-07:00

So I just recently started getting into sewing, and I'm really excited.

So today I went to the craft store, and got everything i needed to get started! So excited.

I got a 'starter kit' I saw at the store

I knew from messing and practicing that i needed bobbins, so i got some standard ones. I'm not up to speed on the threading your own bobbin, so i got already threaded ones. the one missing is a black bobbin that I'd already put in my machine.

I also knew (from watching YouTube videos) that i needed straight pins to keep it all in line, so that's what i got.

Now to start with the fabric, i looked on the discount rack and wound up finding a decent fabric for i believe 4.00 a yard. I knew my pillow was roughly 24" x 24". And according to the lady cutting the fabric i needed 1 1/3 yard's of fabric. I took her word for it.

I laid the pillow on the fabric and cut around it. Not the best idea i know, but I didn't know what else to use.

(this is after i had ironed it to set the seam.)
The seam's aren't ruler straight, but that'll take practice. they're pretty good for my first project.

here it is with the pillow inserted. Its a little bit bigger than i had meant it to be. But that's not bad.

Finished product on the couch.

Wish me luck

2010-06-20T14:20:00.000-07:00

I'm about to start my very first sewing project

I'll post pictures when i'm done.

My mom brought over my sewing machine from the house, so that while B is gone i can have something to work on.

I went to the fabric store and bought a semi-decent fabric that was discounted, and then some thread and a begginers sewing kit.

i'm pretty excited.

Dear Blogger.

2010-06-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

Please stop commenting on my blog! All of your ... are a link I refuse to click on. You are annoying and I wish you would quit.

Thank you

Oh how I love thee..

2010-06-16T22:49:00.000-07:00

Jillian Michael's. but this post isn't about her... even though I love her.

So I fell in love with Jillian on Biggest loser (we all know how obsessed i am with BL). But now she has her own show during the off season of BL.

Losing It with Jillian (Tuesdays @ 8pm on NBC). We'll yesterday's episode featured the May family.

Jillian's Trying to find a love for Ashley May!

She's gone so far as to create a blog. And lord knows i love a good blog. Now you're throwing in a love story on top. Yep, I'm sold.

So If you're interested. Follow Ashley's Journey for love @ Ash Needs Lovin'!

I still love me some Jillian. Its bordering on obsession. but thats another story for another day.

My 400th Post...

2010-06-14T16:15:00.001-07:00

For my 400th Post... Its going to be short and sweet.

This is a pretty big event (close to the big 500). So I thought I would include something that's pretty big in my life at the moment.

As I've mentioned before. My husband's away at Officer Training School. Then he'll be at a nurse transition program until September.

So I thought I'd grace my blog with the first picture of my husband in blues & as an officer. Its a pretty epic thing.

In case you couldn't guess, I'm having a serious case of writers block. but my husband is kind of a big deal. lol.

What do you do...

2010-06-12T16:24:00.001-07:00

To Relax?

Lately, I've been very worked up into my 'poor me', 'I'm so lonely', blah blah blah blahness... So I've decided to take a few moments to relaaaxxxxx.... *slooowwww siigggh*

So what do you do to relax?

1) reading in the sunshine

2) a cool glass of sweet tea.

3) This may sound weird, but. i like to turn the shower on, and then sit or lay down in the shower. When i used to get bad anxiety attacks, this was the one thing that would bring me down before i broke. It has an amazing calming effect.

4) blogging. You'd be surprised how many posts i type out, or half get out, but don't publish. Sometimes when i have so much in my head... typing it out helps.

5) Curling up in bed (sometimes with a beer, lol) and reading until you can't keep your eyes open. I really do enjoy my reading.

So What do you do to relax? if you repost, please comment me a link. Thanks

Website RAVE!

2010-06-09T14:00:00.001-07:00

Today I bring you: Plastic Land

I'm focusing mostly on the Home Decor section of this website!

I could seriously go on and on and on and on and... well you get the point... about what i want off this site.

lets hit the high points.

How do I convince the hubbeast these would be a wonderful anniversary gift:

Ninjas Salt & Pepper Shaker Set

(i have a thing for ninja's)

Queen of Hearts Baking Set

"LOVE" Cake Pan

Heart Shaped Kitchen Spatula

Teacupcakes Silicone Tea Cup Shaped Baking Molds

(I also have a HUGE thing for cupcakes)

I could go on... and i'm not even done looking through the whole website yet. I haven't even gotten to the clothes. THE CLOTHES PEOPLE

Go, Shop, Be happy!

(semi)-Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-09T10:50:00.000-07:00

yep.... this picture pretty much sums up my feelings toward my travel from iraq to the states.

my deployment husband took this picture (I didn't see it untill today almost a year later)

our plane out of out of our location, left over 24 hours before his.

then my rotator out of the desert got delayed 18 hours, and he got there, and left before me.

the fucker.

but i did make it home before he did.

lol

got to love military travel.

And after a rough past couple days!

This picture just sums it all up.

Perspective

2010-06-08T22:31:00.001-07:00

I ~~stole~~ borrowed this from a blog I ~~stalk~~ follow. Sarah @ Yes and Yes.

Sometimes on a bad day, you need a little perspective.

Lesson in Leaving

2010-06-05T22:07:00.000-07:00

Lets just classify these last 2 days as "one of those days". You know where you just don't quite feel 100%.

There's really no reason for me to feel off, but i do. I'm healthy, I'm relatively happy, but its just not the same with out B here. I know, I'm lucky, i get to talk to him almost every day. On the weekends sometimes multiple times in the day, with text messages to boot.

This is the longest time I've been away from him and been home. Its weird to be home to be honest.

When i was in Iraq. I was gone roughly: 135 days

B will be gone roughly: 116 days.

No one really understands how you can possibly be away from each other 100 days or more from your husband, wife, or loved one.

Its not easy.... but its how I've known to live.

There's really no point to this post. but I've been feeling all mixed up and jumbled and its kind of hard to get out a fluid thought out if my life depended on it.

but eh. whats a blog for if not to spew streams of thought, no matter the completeness of the thought.

I think I'll leave you all with this picture. My friend was messing around on photoshop and made it for me. I love her and I love this picture!

Work.... oh what to say

2010-06-02T19:58:00.000-07:00

Besides.... "I QUIT!"

Yep, today was my last day of work! There was a lot of things that added up to my deciding to quit.

The main reason i could quit was the fact that B left and he's going to be getting money, so i can finally go back to school! I'm super excited, but that's for another day.

Okay back to my list of grievances

Grievance #1 - The way I was treated when i came home from Iraq. I was 'eliminated' from my job because my 'temp' that was hired became my new supervisor. And they effectively eliminated my position with out taking into consideration laws, what they were doing, and what they were supposed to do. They way they handled that was really really shaddy.

Grievance #2 - When I fell. On Feb 9th i fell down the stairs at work. The way they handled my injury, the way they dealt with my doctors appointments, physical therapy appointments, and having absolutely NO compassion for me. Again, NOT OK with me.

Grievance #3 - A couple months ago our bathroom broke. I've been working out pretty hard and need to get a lot of water in me. so I use the bathroom a lot. probably every 2 hours or so. I was told (and i quote) "I can not allow you to go to the bathroom in the other building, so you'll have to go only on your breaks or wear depends" by my boss. yeah. she honestly said that.

Grievance #4 - this was the straw that broke the camels back. My uncle recently passed. When he went into the hospital, i told my boss that i couldn't stay late because we were going to the hospital to say our final goodbyes she said "::eye roll:: we got that phone call at least 3 times with my grandma, you can stay" and then proceeded to tell the person on the phone I'd stay, so i was stuck doing it. then left me there to close knowing full well my mom was waiting on me. She's seriously so many levels of wrong its not even funny.

I'm so glad to be finally done with that place. 2 years, tons of tears, and a lot of stress later... i am done. and I'm glad to be done.

but in the last 2 days I've been busier than ever. and I LOVE IT!

lets talk about the weather

2010-06-01T21:19:00.001-07:00

I mean seriously? Does this god forsaken state not know that its JUNE!?! i mean come on, its so hot in this freaking apartment right now its not even funny.

when i get paid, i'm really going to have to go get a couple fans. this still hot sticky air has got to go. ick.

Life after leaving.

2010-05-25T22:15:00.000-07:00

So i think its day #3.

I haven't returned back to work yet, that's tomorrow. But I've been keeping busy. After my Uncle's funeral, we've had a LOT of people in town.

My grandma's been in town and I've been spending a lot of time at my parents.

I've been lucky enough so far that B's schedule has allowed him to call me every night before bed. i know I've been a bit spoiled, and I'm aware. I told him tonight that its okay if he's to tired after his day to call me and he wants to go right to bed.

I love him with all my heart and i can't wait to see him again.

I told him today that i miss him. and he told me he doesn't think he'll be able to go the whole time with out seeing me. He graduates this school at the end of June. but he wants me to come down and visit on the next school where he'll have more freedom.

I might have to take him up on that offer.

I'm such a sucker for that guy

Day Number One!

2010-05-23T23:09:00.000-07:00

Today B left for some military schools.

Today is day #1 of being alone and holding down the home front. Its interesting.

here's a recap of today:

I dropped B off at the airport at like 4am this morning. His flight ran long! but he got some sleep and got some food in his system.

and then... they over booked his flight so he had to wait on other people because they're dumb (one of his biggest pet peeves)

and then... he was flying for the first time on a prop plane.

and then... they lost his bags. They found his bags and they came in on the next flight.

my poor husband.

he starts his school tomorrow afternoon. i told him to drink his last beer (if he could) or soda and lay on the bed and relax.

I on the other hand:

have cleaned the living room
done the laundry
cleaned off the dining room table
cleaned off my desk
gone to lunch with my bff
bleached the counter tops
did the dishes
went to dinner with my parents

and.... drank beer lol.

I'm a worrier by nature and i take it out by cleaning. hahahahaha

so I'm laying here in bed struggling to find the urge to fall asleep ::insert yawn here:: (<-it really did happen). And so i figured I'd get back into the swing of things with the blog,

lose this second wind, and hopefully CRASH OUT.

wish me luck on my first of many nights alone here in the very near future.

Holy Moly

2010-05-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

My last post was March 2nd!?!?

MARCH 2ND!?!?!?!?!?!?!

jeebus.

lets give you an update.

Me:
-I'm still working for the devil's bitch
-I still hate my job
-I plan on quiting as soon as its possible
-I've lost 30lbs since December
-I fell down a flight of stairs a while back
-I'm still in physical therapy for my neck
-I hate my job
-Muscle spasms in my neck make my life HELL!
-I'm training for a 5k
-I'm just living and loving life

B:
-He was accepted to Active Duty Air Force
-He got his Commission early this month
-He is awaiting his orders
-He is supposed to leave sometime late this month
-He is going to be gone for 15 weeks worth of school

US:
-We're getting stationed in California
-I'm getting set to get 1 term of school done while B's gone
-I can't wait to get back into school
-I'm going to miss him while he's gone, but I'm excited for him to go so i have some alone time.

What a week...

2010-03-02T20:47:00.000-08:00

And its only Tuesday.

So today i took a half day because i feel like poo.
I did my "have to do's" and got out of there.

even though i can hardly talk, I'm expected to be main on phones.
even though i do my whole recorded crap "Good Morning/Afternoon thank you for calling craptastic this is Rotty how can I help you?" and the automatic response from the caller is one of 3 responses

1) whoa you sound like crap
2) Oh hunny, you sound terrible
3) you're not sounding so great (<--from the polite people)

and it just makes my voice/throat/cough worse.

Then tomorrow i work a half day and then i get to drive to drill... alone. So then I get to have a double drill weekend ( 4 days instead of 2) because i missed last month due to my fall.

I'm excited to get up there, because i really like the people in my unit.

But I'm not excited for the drive or to be away from my husband. He takes such good care of me, i take it for granted most of the time. Like tonight he made us his famous (well, famous to us) homemade calzone of awesomeness. and all I had to do was role out the dough.

I am also going to try really hard to stay and save money while I'm there. I'm packing my microwavable pasta/rice cooker.
and I'm going to do as much as i can to save money, eat healthy, and do as much as i can while I'm gone.
Its easy to eat healthier while I'm home, but when I'm gone that's when i struggle.
So tomorrow. i have PT, then work, then i drive, should be interesting...

What a Weekend & Update (Part III)

2010-02-28T19:30:00.000-08:00

So Thursday i had PT, and there was a bunch of young guys. I had a "deep tissue" massage. it hurt like a bisnatch.

I apparently have scar tissue developing between my layer of skin and my layer of muscle so he had 'break it up'. oh...my... god. not a fun feeling. not a fun feeling at all. my appointment was late that evening.

Then Friday i had an early PT appointment. It went a little better. she did the ultrasonic, and then the elecrostimulator (i call it electroshock). it was simple but still still hard.

on my health front... I'm not doing so great.
Thursday morning i felt a little off, but because of the meds I'm taking for my neck i can't take day quill or NyQuil.

Friday got worse and worse as the day went on

Friday night was B's friend's birthday so we went down town for his birthday. i didn't drink at all. i was driving and drinking on my meds is a BAD idea.

then i woke up on Saturday and felt terrible. and I've basically been moving between my side of the bed and the couch. its just this terrible cough, my throat is raw and its just no fun.

so today I've updated my reading wish list, my goodreads profile (notice the new widget). and do a bunch of other really POINTLESS stuff on the computer.

lol.
that's my update.

Injury & Workmans Comp (Part II)

2010-02-25T21:22:00.000-08:00

This one is super long stay with me.

So Iput my foot down. I emailed the "HR" guy and told him I wanted everything gone through WC. I didn't care how they paid for it, but I did want all the paper work put through.

So on the 17th I had a follow up appointment in which they put me on more meds. It was exactly one week and one day from the incident. I LOVED the doctor and he was great.

I had to go get a second set of x-rays on my neck. well... apparently I got stuck behind some lady that had to have full body x rays or some shit and was waiting for an hour and a half to get 4 x-rays of my neck.

(Total side bar) So the urgent care and the follow up place are in different offices directly across the hall. So when I went to get my neck x-rays they took me BACK over to the urgent care side and stuck me in a room, by myself, for over an hour. It was scary. I heard a woman screaming "OUCH! SOMEONE HELP ME", but I never saw her. There was a sick baby girl in another room (I did see her so sick, so cute) and I could hear her crying. It was scary. I made B give me a hug when I got back to the other side.

So the x-rays show nothing. No torn muscles, no bone damage. But I knew that.

So he put me on 3 doses of valum for 2 days and then 1 a day at bedtime the following days.

And a follow up in a week.

So when I went to fill my Rx. She told me my claim had been submitted, but not accepted.

(All of that was on a Wednesday)

then Thursday I got a call saying my claim WAS accepted! Thank GOD! Seriously I prayed so hard.

So I took my valum, and I was a zombie. And it was fantastic.

So Monday I started PT (physical Therapy)
He didn't do anything out of the ordinary.
he took a measurement of my movement and how far I could stretch my neck
he did a mini massage to gauge my sore spots and where I hurt
then he used the ultrasonic (I call it a vibrator) machine on my neck
then he hooked me up on this ultrasonic muscle stimulation thing. He put these sticky patches (4 I think) in various places on my neck shoulder and back. Then turned on a current. Covered my neck and back with a heating bad and left me for 15-20 min.

I felt fine when I left
but I hurt like HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL when I was done with the day.

B says it’s because it’s the first time those muscles have really been tested since I fell.

Today was my next follow up I had some douche bag doctor I was not a fan of. He told me that he didn't agree with the neck brace. I told him to bad.

I only wear the neck brace at work and when driving. When I’m at home I don't wear it unless I’m sleeping.

At work the other people sit behind me so no matter how hard I try to not turn, it’s nearly impossible.

He did keep me on my meds, which I’m thankful for because I’m sore as shit today too.
I take 1 naproxen in the morning and 1 naproxen when I get home
I take 1 valium before bed, and then vicoden if I need it.
For a while I didn't need the vicoden, but today and yesterday I needed 2 each night.

I told B that if I’m trying not to complain, but if I sit and allow myself to feel the pain, I bawl and bawl.

--------------------------------------

on the work front.
I’m keeping them updated. They’re being VERY passive aggressive about my taking time for PT and follow ups. And such.

My female boss always has some stupid and inappropriate comment to say about my doctor's paper work that I ALWAYS give to her. She nitpicks it to death.

"What does contusion mean?"
"why does your "diagnosis" change every time you go in"
"Since when did your hip come into play"

stupid crap like that

I ignore her. But it really gets old. Really really old.

----------------------------------------------

I have PT
Thursday
Friday

then Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday

Then wednesday i leave work at noon and i have a 4 day duty weekend to make up for the one i missed. but because i'm off the 3 day valium i can make it.

thank you for listening if you did make it through all that.
i get so frustrated
my BFF A doesn't care about my issues
and B gets tired of me venting

thanks for listening.
this is the first time i have been undrugged enough to type it all out.

Injury & Workmans Comp (Part I)

2010-02-24T21:40:00.000-08:00

So I'm going to break this up, because its a SUPER long story

So Feb 9th, i fell down the stairs at work.
Feb 10th, went to urgent care and filled for workmans Comp (W.C.)

Feb 12th, started the fight. work vs. me. they said that they were going to pay for my visits out of pocket and that they were going to 'tell' W.C. but not file thru them.

So on Saturday(13th) my Good SIL came to visit with us. I was unaware that her H actually works for W.C.!!! So I got to bend her ear for a while.

She said to tell them that I wanted them to file the claim through workman’s comp. and she also suggested going to the urgent care I went to and asking them to also file the paperwork through W.C

She also said that I would probably get a call from a W.C, and then I would be able to tell them my story and what my work has said to me about this.

So today I emailed the HR guy and requested a sent/delivered/read receipt. I received the sent & delivered, but never received a read receipt.

Then later this afternoon I get a call from him saying that I "misunderstood" that WC gives them an option of paying out of pocket or paying through insurance. They’re just choosing to pay out of pocket.

I said okay, and hung up the phone. And my boss heard the whole thing and I understand that she's looking out for the best interest of the company. And she got UBER defensive of me questioning anything.

So Then we called Good SIL and her husband. Hopefully they'll give me something else to try.

This thing is just so shady

i've never had to deal with this before. i'm really trying to handle this truthfully and honestly. but its really hard when i feel the other party isn't.

i'm just frustrated.

B's frustrated because i didn't get a copy of the paper work i filled out for the company with my signature on it.

when i first filled it out i didn't think i was going to file.

then i did.

so i signed the paper and turned it in.

i'm trying

really hard.
but when you're up aggainst dishonest people with more power, its hard.

I'm really frustrated

Must step away from amazon

2010-02-23T12:35:00.000-08:00

I've spent the first half of my lunch hour going over the books i just added, looking at the next book in the series's I've been reading and so on. my book wish list is seriously 6 pages long.

seriously 135 books on the list

granted some of them I've borrowed from friends, but want to buy and own.
some of them (the twilight series) I've read, but i want the box set

but I'm seriously obsessed.

and yes 99% of them are vampire books.

I can't wait till B gets a job so that i can support my book habit.

I'm trying to finish the black dagger brother hood series
then i have book 2 in the immortal instruments series.

then i can venture into new series or finish other series.
must finish these first.

must.not.buy.books

p.s. when my list is printed... its 12 pages long.
WHOA!

I would have Rocked the 1950's

2010-02-21T12:25:00.000-08:00

I could have totally rocked the 1950's house wife era! I decided that today was "spoil my husband day"

1) made his coffee
2) made waffles (his favorite) with his favorite syrup.
3) doing laundry
4) took out the the dog (normally his job)
5) took out the trash (normally his job)

Dinner, I'm thinking about something fancy like stuffed shells. or pot roast (but we had that last weekend).

I'm also currently washing all the bedding.

I woke up this morning feeling slightly better, I'm still super stiff, and a little sore, but I'm in a GREAT mood.

Lets talk about the fashion too. OMGSH!

Look how amazing their dresses they have. I'm So in love with them. Back when woman with curves were a thing to be treasured and adored. they were classy and elegant. They were perfectly styled, never a hair out of place.

Speaking of hair...

The hair. Mostly short as far as i can tell from what little research I've done, and it it was long was mostly in a pony tail. So perfect, so sleek, so adorable, so feminine! goodness.

I could go on and on about the 1950's. the bathing suits, the subtle sexual undertones... I just love it all.

2010-02-20T17:26:00.000-08:00

Warning: Military related. if i don't make sense let me know

So i emailed my supervisor Wednesday night after my follow up appointment. I had to let him know that the meds i was on won't allow me to drive, so the 3 hr drive to drill this weekend was not happening. I emailed him because it was late and he has 3 kids, so i didn't want to interrupt dinner, bed time, etc.

So Thursday morning i texted him and let him know he had an email. he texted back saying he would check it.

Thursday early afternoon, i texted him to see if he had checked it. he said no, but he'd get to it.

So i got frustrated and texted my friend asking for advice. my friend happens to be my supervisors supervisor. I text him on and off after drill during the weeks, he's my friend. So he says "omg, i hope you're okay. I'll take care of it" That wasn't the purpose of my text to him, but it worked out. I trusted him that he would help me out. He's truly a great man and if i was 20 years older and single, I'd so get with him. if that makes ANY sense. lol.

So this morning i FINALLY get the bed to my self and i get a call from my supervisor (the one who wouldn't get back to me) asking when i wanted to re-schedule. i told him i wanted to pull a 4 day drill instead of 2 weekends. the ONLY reason I'm not up there rocking my neck brace is because of the meds. I WANT to be there. I LOVE my unit, i love my job.

He tells me that "they" (don't know who they is) don't think i can do that. physically he means. I told him....again that its just the meds. I'm on limited duty, yes, but to be honest on drill weekends, my job isn't that physically hard.

So He's scheduling me for a 4 day drill for next month.

not even 30 minutes later i get a call from my first Sergeant. when you get a call from the shirt its a BIG Deal, so i was a little freaked out. I told him the whole story, what happened. I told him what my issue with being up there was, and that i start physical therapy next week. Apparently his wife is a physical therapist, so i think when he found out that i was 1) in a neck color and 2) have to go to physical therapy i think he believed me.

I honestly believe that he thought i was faking at first. but when i list my meds, what i have to do, i know he believed me. but dang.

phew that was long. but it felt good to get it out.

An Update

2010-02-20T17:12:00.000-08:00

so Wednesday i went for my follow up appointment with the new doctor.

I'm still in the neck collar. Stupid stupid neck collar.

I'm on super restricted duty... and it sucks.

No sitting, walking, standing for longer than 30 min
No running, jumping, squatting.
No lifting more than 5lbs.
no push ups
no sit ups
no anything

IT BLOWS!
I'm telling you! i' miss the gym.
I miss it. I'm so serious!

so here i sit, on my bum. Wanting to go to the gym... sipping my diet coke... and watching Julie & Julia.

::sigh::

I had to reschedule my duty this weekend. and to be honest i'm BORED! I really enjoy my duty. but i'll update you guys on that i a few.

::larger sigh::

I'm Loved

2010-02-18T21:21:00.000-08:00

I was nominated for another award (back on jan 12th - thanks for letting me know lady!) by the lovely Mrs. S @ Him + Me.

As is tradition with recipients of this award, I will fill you in on 10 things that you may (or may not!) want to know about me.

1) I'm an interior design student (on hold, but still). I love seeing things come together. I like seeing things happen from concept to culmination. I like having an idea in my head and seeing it come to life.

2) My goal with my degree isn't to design multi-million dollar homes, although that would be cool. My goal with my design degree is to help the busy soccer mom who struggles to stay sain. i want to go in and help organize her life to make it easier for her in her world. I want to help that busy family who can't stay on top of things, because they don't know where its supposed to go. i want to help THAT family. THAT family was my family. Living in chaos causes stress. Stress is bad for the body. I want to help people.

3) I LOVE clipping coupons. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! I like taking that 10 extra minutes to clip coupons to save that money. Seeing that total at the end of the check out go lower, and lower, and lower is such a high.

4) I love to work out. I love going to the gym. my love for the gym and working out and that euphoric high I get from working out has caused 2 of my overly obese family members to join the gym too. I'm so so excited and happy for them.

5) When B's out of town, i can't sleep with out the TV on. CAN.NOT.SLEEP.

6) When I'm out of town, I sleep with the TV on, and the Fan on. no matter what the temp. i have to have the fan on.

7) I'm engrossed with TRASH TV. 16 & Pregnant, Tool Academy, Biggest Loser, Bad Girls Club... yep, i love them all

8) I have a little problem with blogs. I love them! I am currently following 232 blogs. i can't imagine 'unfollowing' any of them.

9) I also love to bake! cakes, cookies, breads, etc. but my favorite is by far cupcakes. I love cupcakes. I love to think about new ideas for cupcakes, new things to do for people with cupcakes. I love cupcakes. love love love.

10) I am so in love with my husband. Its sad how much I'm in love with him. We don't show our love like most mushy-gushy couples. but its sick how much i love that man.

And now I nominate:

D @ Growing up Graham

Rachi @ From the mind of a mom

Dance @ Into the Womb

GC @ After Jillian

Wonderful woman with wonderful blogs

Beautiful Blogger Award

2010-02-17T19:52:00.000-08:00

I was honored to be given an award by tw0 wonderful friends Mommy Life & Him + Me. They're both amazing woman and I'm truly blessed to know them!!

In order to receive the award, the following must be completed:

Thank the person(s) who nominated you and link their blogs.
Copy the award and paste it above.
Tell us 7 interesting things about yourself.

Nominate 7 bloggers that you love and link to their blogs.

But first, here are 7 mildly interesting things about me.

I have a serious shower ritual. If it gets interrupted, it throws off my whole day.
I have a ~~mini~~ ~~mild~~ serious obsession with rubber duckies.
I hurt myself more than any person I've ever known.
I'd rather be barefoot than ever wear shoes any day. but i have over 30 pairs of shoes.
I'm a camping, rafting, hiking girl mixed with a hair salon, pedicure, reformed tom boy.
I've asked for power tools or guns for Christmas every year since i was 12
If I had the money, I'd quit my job and open a bakery.

my 7 award winners are

Southern Belle Baby

Pink Haired Momma

Just Add Water

I've changed my name to mommy

love to shop mom

Jcam's Freaking Awesome Blog

My Eggs & Ham